GOLFERS ARE SUB PAR PEOPLE.
they generally are sensitive wannabe muffin men. With small feelings and semi soft man parts. Lets face it if golf is very important to you sex is not.
I had an old golf man get irritated with a friend and myself as he was giving me a golf lesson at the public golf range. He said all that he could here was our talking. He got upset with us for no reason at all. Anyway to avoid complaining it serve to the point that people are all to sensitive and non tolerant. Lets face it even sober I tend to annoy the whole entire world. So anyway....I understand that times are tough and everyone is so important but I am not buying it anymore. I should have kicked the old man in the groin or even pushed him in his face but I generally yield to conflict with ease especially with senior citizens.... I am tired of diffusing morons.
I am thinking of behaving like Helen Keller just to avoid any unintended conflict. Boy that Bob really pissed me off he did not wash his hands before he signed to me. What an a**hole.
I think that I may suffer from BBS Battered Balls Syndrome. I must have some dysfunction to validate my problems. People have all sort of labels. ADD. ADHD. PMS..... Has anyone ever suffered the consequences of PSD. Pu**y Shut Down. OR Worse yet CPSD Complete P*&^%Y Shut Down. I have and it is brutal. People used to have letters after their names to signify academic accomplishment. We should have our mental dysfunction stated on our state identification just so people will know in advance of our hypersensitivities and how to handle us so that we don't have embarrassing moments. I am a sufferer from NYCBD. New York C*&K Bag Disorder. I live in the mid west but was raised in New York where people like this are usually killed off or at least not allowed to breed.
There it is for today
my non sincere apology if I have offended anyone. I am so sorry if you are that fragile. Wear a helmet.
bob
See you later
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Be your husband's WHORE
You know that people have marriage trouble now and then. We have hurt feelings and lets say unmet expectations. That is why I think that would be the title of my marriage counseling book if I was to write one. Sure it may seem insensitive and most likely book not to be read by women but I think it simply says what we men want. Now to make it appropriate women would want us to address their level of consideration and general respect issue itemized a to z. Our request list would basically be sum mated by the title mentioned above. I think that it could fit into a pamphlet or even a business card. That is not allot of requirement that we seek. It is not allot to figure out. At this stage of fitness that I am at it would not take allot of time. And I would gladly do just about anything that you would ask of me. get it straight give me the milk girls.
Oh well
I was never to good with the women.
SO WHAT
I CAN PLAY SURF GUITAR
Oh well
I was never to good with the women.
SO WHAT
I CAN PLAY SURF GUITAR
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
One minute to blog
I will blog all by myself. I dont think anyone reads it anyway. If bob blogged in the woods would anyone here it. Was anyone there. I feel all alone
Thats alright with me.
Anyhow, things are fair at the moment.
I bought another amp dont tell the wife, she would not approve
For those who know me I will ask again.....
SHOULD I BUY A NEW CAR?
DO YOU HEAR THAT RATTLE?
CAN I SAY ONE THING?
Any how I am out of mojo and must go back to work
My blog may suck but it is better than yours
bob
Thats alright with me.
Anyhow, things are fair at the moment.
I bought another amp dont tell the wife, she would not approve
For those who know me I will ask again.....
SHOULD I BUY A NEW CAR?
DO YOU HEAR THAT RATTLE?
CAN I SAY ONE THING?
Any how I am out of mojo and must go back to work
My blog may suck but it is better than yours
bob
Thursday, June 5, 2008
OH, I Forgot to mention my Brother Tim
Yes for those who don't know I have a brother named Timothy John. He is a good guy. A real fun guy but does he have the man parts for his own blog....No.... does he share his feeling with all to see....No.... does his crave his mommy's love.....yes
Tim is a great guy if you need to look sober.
He had sex with a german shepard once.
There you go Tim
you made it to my blog
bob
Tim is a great guy if you need to look sober.
He had sex with a german shepard once.
There you go Tim
you made it to my blog
bob
Thursday, May 29, 2008
No Blog for the blogger
It has been a long time since I last blogged. Months in fact. It has been months for other important aspects of my life. I recently flossed my teeth and that was great. I got a big chunk of food loose. Maybe I can start a food bank with my floss.
recently I reduced my coffee intake from 30 plus cups to about 2. Man that was a good thing to do. I wish someone would have told me that too much coffee is bad for the body. I do feel better without it but I miss the that wild coffee man.
Also, I stopped pissing off my wife on a daily basis. Now it is every three days or so. So things are better there.
I guess that I am trying to mature and be a more civilized guy with less violent outrages. I feel like a setback is comming and at some level a postal moment may arise.
Other than that not too much.
I will blog sooner.
bob
recently I reduced my coffee intake from 30 plus cups to about 2. Man that was a good thing to do. I wish someone would have told me that too much coffee is bad for the body. I do feel better without it but I miss the that wild coffee man.
Also, I stopped pissing off my wife on a daily basis. Now it is every three days or so. So things are better there.
I guess that I am trying to mature and be a more civilized guy with less violent outrages. I feel like a setback is comming and at some level a postal moment may arise.
Other than that not too much.
I will blog sooner.
bob
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Oh boy More Snow
Who the hell cares. Snow is for sissies.
If I want it to snow it wont so I will look forward to it. When I look forward to things they don't happen so I will look forward to a good foot of snow tomorrow. a
Anyhow, not much new for me. Just the same old boring stuff.
I had some funny things to write but I lost them in my clouded mind.
One thing would be great. What if groping was an Olympic sport. I would enjoy a collegiate try out now and then.
Someone asked at my office the other day... What is that smell? It smells like cat piss.
Needless to say there is one less cat at the office.
I tell you what some people do smell and sometimes cat piss would be an improvement but I don't say anything about it. Hey Pam the crotch cream that you been using has lost its glow. I figure that if you smell bad you must feel bad and you don't need me to tell you that.
It is something that I just let go.
Now how is my music coming along. Not bad I have not played as much and sometimes that can help the cause. Makes it more fun when I do. For the personal hygiene I am working on that and hopefully the sent of cat piss can not be such a common occurrence. I am sure that they are just trying to help. I take it as a compliment. (not really)
Now a compliment received is a generous gift and I get some on occasion and cherish their meaning. my back is not used to other than my own hand patting it.
I have grown recently to admire those people who have shaped my talents.
It is important to Revere those who have helped you.
Oh well I hope it snow. I hope my wife puts out.
Its not going to snow
bob
If I want it to snow it wont so I will look forward to it. When I look forward to things they don't happen so I will look forward to a good foot of snow tomorrow. a
Anyhow, not much new for me. Just the same old boring stuff.
I had some funny things to write but I lost them in my clouded mind.
One thing would be great. What if groping was an Olympic sport. I would enjoy a collegiate try out now and then.
Someone asked at my office the other day... What is that smell? It smells like cat piss.
Needless to say there is one less cat at the office.
I tell you what some people do smell and sometimes cat piss would be an improvement but I don't say anything about it. Hey Pam the crotch cream that you been using has lost its glow. I figure that if you smell bad you must feel bad and you don't need me to tell you that.
It is something that I just let go.
Now how is my music coming along. Not bad I have not played as much and sometimes that can help the cause. Makes it more fun when I do. For the personal hygiene I am working on that and hopefully the sent of cat piss can not be such a common occurrence. I am sure that they are just trying to help. I take it as a compliment. (not really)
Now a compliment received is a generous gift and I get some on occasion and cherish their meaning. my back is not used to other than my own hand patting it.
I have grown recently to admire those people who have shaped my talents.
It is important to Revere those who have helped you.
Oh well I hope it snow. I hope my wife puts out.
Its not going to snow
bob
Saturday, March 8, 2008
I am getting tired of all this cold crap they call winter
Okay, So I want to wine a little. It is too cold for too long and I have had enough.
Oh well,,, While I complain I would like to say that my hands are too small. They look like little people hands on a 230 pound eating machine. They are good hands but do not look good in a suite.. My brother Tim's hands are even smaller. Sorry to hear that Tim. I guess it runs in the family.
Okay I went to a concert with a buddy of mine and had a great time and we were pondering about the nature of a young performer at the show. She played great bass and that is attractive for some reason. a woman who looks like bj and the bear would be attractive if she played bass. But lets say she was cute but had an eyebrow that circled her entire head and the head of someone who sat next to her. She without her clothes would resemble clan of the caveman type of girl. Anyway, we decided that as long as it was dark and she played the bass guitar she would do fine. But she is only 22 years old and I don't know if either of have enough left in the tank to satisfy what a 22 year old needs. Sure I am great to talk to but that is about it. They only way I can f$&k someone really hard is to hit them with my car.
BOB
Oh well,,, While I complain I would like to say that my hands are too small. They look like little people hands on a 230 pound eating machine. They are good hands but do not look good in a suite.. My brother Tim's hands are even smaller. Sorry to hear that Tim. I guess it runs in the family.
Okay I went to a concert with a buddy of mine and had a great time and we were pondering about the nature of a young performer at the show. She played great bass and that is attractive for some reason. a woman who looks like bj and the bear would be attractive if she played bass. But lets say she was cute but had an eyebrow that circled her entire head and the head of someone who sat next to her. She without her clothes would resemble clan of the caveman type of girl. Anyway, we decided that as long as it was dark and she played the bass guitar she would do fine. But she is only 22 years old and I don't know if either of have enough left in the tank to satisfy what a 22 year old needs. Sure I am great to talk to but that is about it. They only way I can f$&k someone really hard is to hit them with my car.
BOB
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Happy Valentine's Day
Here we are one year later. One more Valentine's day under our belt. It is so nice being married. (That is written as a form of self protection)
I often wonder how many of my friends have happy marriages. I know a few that are probably getting closer to that area of joy and some that are not. I seem to ebb and flow, back and forth. The longer that I am married the better at it I am but I am probably the worst husband that I know. It is something that I could definately improve upon..... But anyway who cares. (I think that is most of my problem)
On a lighter note. Andres Bocelli, the great Italian singer. I did not know that he was a a blind guy. I was watching him sing into open spaces on the grammys and noted to my friend hey this guy cant even shave before he goes out their and swoons the crowd of adoring fans. He say bob he is blind. What are you talking about, I thought that he was just a retarded italian singer that is so self admiring that he stares into space when he sings or does interviews. Oh well I dont notice some of the most obvious things.
a couple of other funny things have crossed my mind but I did not write them down.
bob
I often wonder how many of my friends have happy marriages. I know a few that are probably getting closer to that area of joy and some that are not. I seem to ebb and flow, back and forth. The longer that I am married the better at it I am but I am probably the worst husband that I know. It is something that I could definately improve upon..... But anyway who cares. (I think that is most of my problem)
On a lighter note. Andres Bocelli, the great Italian singer. I did not know that he was a a blind guy. I was watching him sing into open spaces on the grammys and noted to my friend hey this guy cant even shave before he goes out their and swoons the crowd of adoring fans. He say bob he is blind. What are you talking about, I thought that he was just a retarded italian singer that is so self admiring that he stares into space when he sings or does interviews. Oh well I dont notice some of the most obvious things.
a couple of other funny things have crossed my mind but I did not write them down.
bob
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
We may wake up to eight inches of snow
That would be great to wake up to eight inches. I never woke up to eight inches before but I am probably not going to be able to sleep in anticipation. It would be better than Santa Claus visiting my doorstep. I hope that the weather man is right for once.
bob
bob
Thursday, January 31, 2008
There are no products available for masculine hygiene
I dont know why but I cant buy one product that is specially designed for my sensitive man parts. Not a one. Now the girls got a whole aisle at the store for what they got but I have to improvize if I ever run into trouble with my guys. I am left alone to fend for myself. Does the world just think that these are completely maintenance free appliances. Some special sented soap would be nice. I sometimes wonder if, yes if, those are mine that smell like they are not supposed to. I get it they have a sent that repells both man and woman alike but it doesnot have to be that way. Do I even have to mention the term hairstyle products. I just think that They are left out of the whole consideration of everything. Maybe a product like sackasil will make the economy rebound. It may be the next big trend in what we all need and will pay big money for. I would buy a jar of manolin if it would help them out.
But lets face it. It works just fine without any of the bells and whisles. It has served as an alarm clock waking me up for the past 25 years or so. The fashion statement days are long gone unless looking osama bin ladin is a fashion statement.
At least there should be a cream or rub that can help the itch that you just cant scratch.
bob
But lets face it. It works just fine without any of the bells and whisles. It has served as an alarm clock waking me up for the past 25 years or so. The fashion statement days are long gone unless looking osama bin ladin is a fashion statement.
At least there should be a cream or rub that can help the itch that you just cant scratch.
bob
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
OH Well, I am the same schmuck that I was before the new year.
Yup nothing has changed. Same dumb ass as I was before. No great difference. No big changes. I am the same only older. I am always amazed by those who despite their misery are able to make you laugh. There are some people who for some reason just make you laugh. I had seen some things this week that made me laugh. I cant go into what they were but if you are reading this Murry you know what you did. Okay he was talking about he plays air guitar after his shower with his testicles slamming all around jumping jumping jumping. After his demonstration I was left fairly overwhelmed..... It was great yet awful.....It was great..... I play air guitar myself but not naked and at full force. This guy is kind of a modern marvel of physicality and it is a wonder that he has not hurt himself.
Some people just don't get your jokes but some people get it so much that they spread your jokes. I like it like that I want to infect the world with my stupid humor.....But no one is listening.......another thing that I am working on is the instant guilt trip for no reason at all......give it a try....... Like the one my brother gave me.... Hey bob yeah Tim I have an job interview next Wednesday. Oh Tim I reply that is great he says in a glib dim tone after dramatic pause......Is it?
You have to be Irish catholic to get it but it is great fun to crap a good serving of guilt at the most unexpected times.
I got him back but he is up on me for the time being. He just knows how to throw the guilt down....
Oh well I am tired and am going to go home...
bob
Some people just don't get your jokes but some people get it so much that they spread your jokes. I like it like that I want to infect the world with my stupid humor.....But no one is listening.......another thing that I am working on is the instant guilt trip for no reason at all......give it a try....... Like the one my brother gave me.... Hey bob yeah Tim I have an job interview next Wednesday. Oh Tim I reply that is great he says in a glib dim tone after dramatic pause......Is it?
You have to be Irish catholic to get it but it is great fun to crap a good serving of guilt at the most unexpected times.
I got him back but he is up on me for the time being. He just knows how to throw the guilt down....
Oh well I am tired and am going to go home...
bob
Saturday, December 29, 2007
What do I blog about? New Years Revolution
Hello all,
Here are my predictions for 2008. I will be the same guy only heavier by the end of it.
Hopefully all will be well.
Tonight I am sleeping over my buddy's house and am staying in the princess room. What will that do to my fragile man image. It cant be gay if I am all by myself. I am an auto sexual but with a man view to it. So I doubt that it will change me too much. I can perform under most circumstances but tonight I will refrain.
Back to the predictions. You know what I don't care about the future that much to predict. I hope that I don't loose my apatite within the next year. I predict that at some point I will have gas in a public place. I also predict that I will have the same clothes that I have this year.
I would like to wish all a happy new year. Peace and harmony in your life. I hope that everyone learns to accept what they need to and improve what they want to.
Enough of that... I hope that all of us have more sex because that is what we are here for anyway.
happy new year
bob
Here are my predictions for 2008. I will be the same guy only heavier by the end of it.
Hopefully all will be well.
Tonight I am sleeping over my buddy's house and am staying in the princess room. What will that do to my fragile man image. It cant be gay if I am all by myself. I am an auto sexual but with a man view to it. So I doubt that it will change me too much. I can perform under most circumstances but tonight I will refrain.
Back to the predictions. You know what I don't care about the future that much to predict. I hope that I don't loose my apatite within the next year. I predict that at some point I will have gas in a public place. I also predict that I will have the same clothes that I have this year.
I would like to wish all a happy new year. Peace and harmony in your life. I hope that everyone learns to accept what they need to and improve what they want to.
Enough of that... I hope that all of us have more sex because that is what we are here for anyway.
happy new year
bob
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Why does it always have to be about my problems
Oh today, I have a problem. I want my problem to be your problem also because I am your friend and friends share.
It is great being a friend and a leader to aid people through their lives but that don't make me a great guy. What makes me a great guy is my never ended self love. I think that I am great and wise. Oh well, I am often alone in that view but what a great way to start the day.
Self greatness comes from contentment and some form of internal pursuit that only serves you. We have others in our lives but what makes me most happy is myself. My accomplishments and my interest. Sure I can get along with other people as long as they know that I am probably thinking of other things most of the time. It is a form of fantasy that I have not yet outgrown. I don't think that I am ever going to.
I enjoy people who have some type of internal drive that has no reward other than self satisfaction and betterment. Such as reading music or literature or in my case guitar playing and academia. I would read calculus if I had an extra hour in my day even though I don't need it. It pleases me to think in that form.
We are all greatly different people but connected by bonds that are stronger than any repulsions that we induce. If we practice kindness those bonds are made stronger all by themselves. We all want our territory respected but for what end. All I own is my mood and mind. But really just my mood. I try my best not to give it to someone. ex specially if they are not in a good one..... People who are in bad moods are on your own in my world.
anyhow.
Acceptance and tolerance. Accept people for who they are and tolerate them for who they are and continue with your pursuits of greatness.
bob
It is great being a friend and a leader to aid people through their lives but that don't make me a great guy. What makes me a great guy is my never ended self love. I think that I am great and wise. Oh well, I am often alone in that view but what a great way to start the day.
Self greatness comes from contentment and some form of internal pursuit that only serves you. We have others in our lives but what makes me most happy is myself. My accomplishments and my interest. Sure I can get along with other people as long as they know that I am probably thinking of other things most of the time. It is a form of fantasy that I have not yet outgrown. I don't think that I am ever going to.
I enjoy people who have some type of internal drive that has no reward other than self satisfaction and betterment. Such as reading music or literature or in my case guitar playing and academia. I would read calculus if I had an extra hour in my day even though I don't need it. It pleases me to think in that form.
We are all greatly different people but connected by bonds that are stronger than any repulsions that we induce. If we practice kindness those bonds are made stronger all by themselves. We all want our territory respected but for what end. All I own is my mood and mind. But really just my mood. I try my best not to give it to someone. ex specially if they are not in a good one..... People who are in bad moods are on your own in my world.
anyhow.
Acceptance and tolerance. Accept people for who they are and tolerate them for who they are and continue with your pursuits of greatness.
bob
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Hello all from BOB LAND
It is all the same to me lately.
I had a fun night tonite with friends. When I was younger it happened alot more often then it does now. Aging effects how much socialization that you can permit due to life stress and the such. I may just take 4 weeks and hang out at the beach everynite and pick up some chicks who like the way I play my guitar. Oh wait, I cant do that anymore I would look like a strange old man with candy. Oh well, I still like my guitars. Speaking of such I may be running into another beautiful baby boy of a guitar. I will not get too excited until I get it but it will be great. I should work over at guitar center because those scmucks dont know shit. I have about 10 nice guitars and 10 or more nice amps and the number is climbing. I have probably a few too many but so what....It is what I like and dam it I have an opinion about them. Collecting is interesting endevor.... I always thought that collectors needed to get some mental health counseling but here I am a collector of expensive peice of joy. The truth is that I always wanted great guitars and great amps. Now I can have them. Does it make me happy... maybe not but I do enjoy them greatly. They are like my friends. I have more than one great friend for which I am grateful. But why not have two or twelve. If god wanted my to have only one of anything he would not have given me two balls. One would have been enough but he thought that where one is good two is better.
My next year will hopefully be as good or better than this one. Hopefully no horrible changes to the boring life that I have. I have come to enjoy the boringness of it all.
Some thoughts that I had over the weekend at the mall. First of all. Mother and daughters walking (not underage I am not a freak) there is a strange fantacy there that just does not ever seem to happen once rational thought enters the equation. Also try to find the pretetor in the crowd. He/She is there but where. Also, SOmeone did not shower today, who is it?
I have to buy disposable gifts for those significant people in my life.
I have been blessed with good friends all my life
Oh well,,,,, time for bed and dreams of new shinny guitars.
Hey at least I can play the stupid things.
I had a fun night tonite with friends. When I was younger it happened alot more often then it does now. Aging effects how much socialization that you can permit due to life stress and the such. I may just take 4 weeks and hang out at the beach everynite and pick up some chicks who like the way I play my guitar. Oh wait, I cant do that anymore I would look like a strange old man with candy. Oh well, I still like my guitars. Speaking of such I may be running into another beautiful baby boy of a guitar. I will not get too excited until I get it but it will be great. I should work over at guitar center because those scmucks dont know shit. I have about 10 nice guitars and 10 or more nice amps and the number is climbing. I have probably a few too many but so what....It is what I like and dam it I have an opinion about them. Collecting is interesting endevor.... I always thought that collectors needed to get some mental health counseling but here I am a collector of expensive peice of joy. The truth is that I always wanted great guitars and great amps. Now I can have them. Does it make me happy... maybe not but I do enjoy them greatly. They are like my friends. I have more than one great friend for which I am grateful. But why not have two or twelve. If god wanted my to have only one of anything he would not have given me two balls. One would have been enough but he thought that where one is good two is better.
My next year will hopefully be as good or better than this one. Hopefully no horrible changes to the boring life that I have. I have come to enjoy the boringness of it all.
Some thoughts that I had over the weekend at the mall. First of all. Mother and daughters walking (not underage I am not a freak) there is a strange fantacy there that just does not ever seem to happen once rational thought enters the equation. Also try to find the pretetor in the crowd. He/She is there but where. Also, SOmeone did not shower today, who is it?
I have to buy disposable gifts for those significant people in my life.
I have been blessed with good friends all my life
Oh well,,,,, time for bed and dreams of new shinny guitars.
Hey at least I can play the stupid things.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Today's Topic Broken down dogs
Dogs dont always run like a honda civic. Sometimes they go bad and need a little repair or just be it time to heal from what ever the hell it was that was bugging them in the first place. I cant tell from the dog much more than that if this dog dont get better soon it may just well ..... I would rather not say.
It is sad when your dog is sick. But I do think that it is weird when people ask you how your dog is doing. Hello Bob, (I dont have kids) How are your dogs doing? They are fine, Dusty still is capable of self gratification and Milly has no memory of any of the night that we had in vegas.......They are just my dogs. I love them and hold them and pet them but I am not going to send anybodies love to them. Hey Bob, tell Milly I said hello, hey give Dusty 20 bucks for gratuation of obidience school we are all so proud of him.
I know that it is just a kind jesture but I do find it odd.
I was petting my dog today and wondered if there is any work available in dog petting. I wont feed them or poop them but by golly I will pet them for hours for a nominal fee. Also, they make their own coats. They dont have to shop for a jacket. they Just grow one. That is cool. I have met a few people that have the same potential but they are not as popular as you would expect.
Other than that Not much to report. I will do my service and kill two turkeys to help reduce the wild turkey outbreak that they have here in Illinois. Turkeys have been overrunning our forests and without our help will bread endlessly causing horrible diseases and infecting the human population with diseases that can rot a brain in under 48 hours which will always be misdiagnosed. We must band together as a nation and kill and consume as much turkey that we can. I am going to start a movement to rid this world of turkey. Lets the mass execution begin on this thursday and hopefully we will rid our land from those dangerous creatures.
What do live turkeys even smell like. I smelt some chickens before at the county fair and it did not make me hungry. Turkeys are probably worse.
Any how have a good thanksgiving
It is sad when your dog is sick. But I do think that it is weird when people ask you how your dog is doing. Hello Bob, (I dont have kids) How are your dogs doing? They are fine, Dusty still is capable of self gratification and Milly has no memory of any of the night that we had in vegas.......They are just my dogs. I love them and hold them and pet them but I am not going to send anybodies love to them. Hey Bob, tell Milly I said hello, hey give Dusty 20 bucks for gratuation of obidience school we are all so proud of him.
I know that it is just a kind jesture but I do find it odd.
I was petting my dog today and wondered if there is any work available in dog petting. I wont feed them or poop them but by golly I will pet them for hours for a nominal fee. Also, they make their own coats. They dont have to shop for a jacket. they Just grow one. That is cool. I have met a few people that have the same potential but they are not as popular as you would expect.
Other than that Not much to report. I will do my service and kill two turkeys to help reduce the wild turkey outbreak that they have here in Illinois. Turkeys have been overrunning our forests and without our help will bread endlessly causing horrible diseases and infecting the human population with diseases that can rot a brain in under 48 hours which will always be misdiagnosed. We must band together as a nation and kill and consume as much turkey that we can. I am going to start a movement to rid this world of turkey. Lets the mass execution begin on this thursday and hopefully we will rid our land from those dangerous creatures.
What do live turkeys even smell like. I smelt some chickens before at the county fair and it did not make me hungry. Turkeys are probably worse.
Any how have a good thanksgiving
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Oh what to talk about.
Today is Sunday. Just changed the clocks back. My wife lied to me about the time it was. She is a tiny little liar. How dare she be so decieving. This brings up the trust issues agian. Hey wait I am a guy and guys dont have imaginary problems.
I can tell you one thing the male mind is mostly a simple place. There are about three things at most that I can keep track of at once. Usually it is amps, cars and guitars. Why dont women run countries or airlines and hospitals. They seem to handle much more at once. And they are not distracted by simple impulsive purchases on ebay. Just my view. And if we can have a woman president we can blame the bitch when it goes bad. We call Bush names but we cant call him our bitch. Either way I am going to buy all my products from china while I still can. We better do it before china runs out of oil to make the crappy circuit boards.
I wonder if pace makers are made in china. Maybe we will have a chinese woman as president of the United States. To bring up another offensive topic. Why is it that people that dont vote or pay alot of taxes seem to complain the most about immigration issues.
Politics, religion, finances, and sex topics are still taboo in this country. I dont have trouble talking about them. I dont not require that you agree with me. It is just casual converstation. I dont have a big panic button that alot of people have.
My wife just admitted that she lied to me to get me out of bed. I cannot rely on anyone to be truthful and honest. Why should I continue with the rest of the day knowing that the world is one big lie.
I wonder how often I lie.
I think that it is less than what most people do. I don't even fake all that much. People with perfect social grace annoy me and are boring. I like people who are on the edge of dispair at least one a season. Christmas is a good time for a breakdown. Thanksgiving has more food so people tend not to freak out. Who can freak out after that much turkey. Is their Prozac in turkey. It has some protein in it that makes me fart more than sleep but I handle proteins differently than most people. People call me after they eat the next day. Excuse the topic. Hey Bob I s%^t all day after I ate at your house. I reply oh I am so sorry no one else was sick, I feel OK. They reply that I was not sick I just had to s%#t all day. Oh, I said.
Well that is enough. I am going to pretend that football is important so that I can sit on my ass for the next 12 hours undisturbed and pretend to get upset when my team loses. Am I lying
BOB
I can tell you one thing the male mind is mostly a simple place. There are about three things at most that I can keep track of at once. Usually it is amps, cars and guitars. Why dont women run countries or airlines and hospitals. They seem to handle much more at once. And they are not distracted by simple impulsive purchases on ebay. Just my view. And if we can have a woman president we can blame the bitch when it goes bad. We call Bush names but we cant call him our bitch. Either way I am going to buy all my products from china while I still can. We better do it before china runs out of oil to make the crappy circuit boards.
I wonder if pace makers are made in china. Maybe we will have a chinese woman as president of the United States. To bring up another offensive topic. Why is it that people that dont vote or pay alot of taxes seem to complain the most about immigration issues.
Politics, religion, finances, and sex topics are still taboo in this country. I dont have trouble talking about them. I dont not require that you agree with me. It is just casual converstation. I dont have a big panic button that alot of people have.
My wife just admitted that she lied to me to get me out of bed. I cannot rely on anyone to be truthful and honest. Why should I continue with the rest of the day knowing that the world is one big lie.
I wonder how often I lie.
I think that it is less than what most people do. I don't even fake all that much. People with perfect social grace annoy me and are boring. I like people who are on the edge of dispair at least one a season. Christmas is a good time for a breakdown. Thanksgiving has more food so people tend not to freak out. Who can freak out after that much turkey. Is their Prozac in turkey. It has some protein in it that makes me fart more than sleep but I handle proteins differently than most people. People call me after they eat the next day. Excuse the topic. Hey Bob I s%^t all day after I ate at your house. I reply oh I am so sorry no one else was sick, I feel OK. They reply that I was not sick I just had to s%#t all day. Oh, I said.
Well that is enough. I am going to pretend that football is important so that I can sit on my ass for the next 12 hours undisturbed and pretend to get upset when my team loses. Am I lying
BOB
Thursday, October 18, 2007
OK So I blogged twice in one month. Will I go blind?
How often and where I blog is what I would refer to as my personal business and not up for public discussion or display. It is a personal matter of great sensitivity. Blogging is cool if I thought someone other than my mother would read it. She still thinks that I am good at baseball When I stand up straight I can hardly see my feet let alone hit a change up. But my Mom is probably my biggest fan. It has been many years since I puked in her house or stole change from her piggy bank. I guess I owe everything to her. Most of my good traits that are of social value come from her like Patience for others, creativity, generosity, etc etc. But my pension for vulgar outbreaks and the ever present potential for violence probably comes from my dad, god rest his soul. Although he taught me a lot of valuable things as well. like don't leave the garage door open if you like to breath air and not to lend objects that don't belong to you at great personal pain and embarrassment. My father is gone from this earth but remains in my mind and heart. I speak with him everyday and remember how much enjoyed each others company. I do believe that the best gift you can give some one is enjoyment. Honor thy mother and father is a value that seems harder to come by. I never had trouble with the application of that principle even when I did not agree with it. It has served me well.
Now it would be nice if someone other than my mother would read it. This blog is not dirty underwear that I hid under my bed. I do not get why I blog. Sure it is fun to let my mind go on topics that occur to me( you could probably tell that I do not do a lot of planning first) but for who's benefit? We shall see but my feeling is that I am not saving a lot of trees with this blog especially.
But For What it is Worth I miss you Dad and carry you everywhere I go Even my blog
Now it would be nice if someone other than my mother would read it. This blog is not dirty underwear that I hid under my bed. I do not get why I blog. Sure it is fun to let my mind go on topics that occur to me( you could probably tell that I do not do a lot of planning first) but for who's benefit? We shall see but my feeling is that I am not saving a lot of trees with this blog especially.
But For What it is Worth I miss you Dad and carry you everywhere I go Even my blog
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Self help for the slow learner
It is hard to learn when you are more stubborn than smart. I think that I have both features. I had another birthday and I feel it. I don't mind the aches and pains if you are getting wiser but that is where I have the problems.
My dogs don't need to read self help books. The plants outside need just water to live. Why would I be any different. I need only to eat drink pee and poop to make it through the day. Some days I think those events are my greatest accomplishments. For all I make I brake. But with all of the problems in the world we have Oprah Winfrey to help us out. She is so inspirational. I wish that I could fake caring about the retards that I encounter with the ease and grace. I actually have to care to express it. I think that she should have at least one show that I would approve of with a topic of lets say how to tap a keg or stop a drunken maniac using Stalin like tactics. Something like how to throw the perfect spiral football or how to kill your neighbor's cat without any one knowing. (I have no ill will against cats, it would just be interesting TV). But best of all how to get women to approve purchases that make my man parts seem bigger, like a convertible Mercedes or something. Men need help with mid life crisis. We put up with your PMS stuff no questions asked. We would like the same level of consideration.
All things considered life is good. I can eat, drink, pee and pooh with only minor difficulty so I will hold on believing in the dream
Best of luck to those who lower their own expectations in their lives by listening to my assertions.
bob
My dogs don't need to read self help books. The plants outside need just water to live. Why would I be any different. I need only to eat drink pee and poop to make it through the day. Some days I think those events are my greatest accomplishments. For all I make I brake. But with all of the problems in the world we have Oprah Winfrey to help us out. She is so inspirational. I wish that I could fake caring about the retards that I encounter with the ease and grace. I actually have to care to express it. I think that she should have at least one show that I would approve of with a topic of lets say how to tap a keg or stop a drunken maniac using Stalin like tactics. Something like how to throw the perfect spiral football or how to kill your neighbor's cat without any one knowing. (I have no ill will against cats, it would just be interesting TV). But best of all how to get women to approve purchases that make my man parts seem bigger, like a convertible Mercedes or something. Men need help with mid life crisis. We put up with your PMS stuff no questions asked. We would like the same level of consideration.
All things considered life is good. I can eat, drink, pee and pooh with only minor difficulty so I will hold on believing in the dream
Best of luck to those who lower their own expectations in their lives by listening to my assertions.
bob
Sunday, July 15, 2007
I must blog no matter what
It is time to blog again. The problem is that I only want to share the happy go lucky or funny bob. Well I guess that he in not always available and maybe a glimpse to the other side(s) may have to do.
Interesting things of note. I saw a man die yesterday at Sam's club. Dropped dead of a heart attack. I did not see him fall but laid out on the floor with two people performing CPR. I would of liked to do it but they got there first and it has been ten years since my CPR training. Note to world take CPR course yearly. Now shopping for clothes that fit a fat guy like myself was not as much fun after that. The world goes on, shopping continued. I was truly saddened and felt like crying a bit. I never saw that before. I hope that I don't have to learn that way to loose some weight. What the hell, when I get back from my cruise I will loose all the weight that I gained on my cruise I promise.
I look forward to this vacation and rest from my responsibilities and obligations. However, it may not be enough to change the course. What is enough to change the course for ones life. Whom do we have that steers us towards a better way. I am blessed with those whom I rely upon and who can rely upon me. But are we all retarded? I hate to admit but my simple search for guitar tone and feel is a search for truth in some way. Am I giving my art enough of my time and intellect to grow. I guess or propose that things in our lives are in a cycle of growth or decay, acceptance or denial. Why are some people so far ahead and others so far behind? Where are we (myself and my family and friends) in all of this.
Oh well, humor does help it all.
bob
Interesting things of note. I saw a man die yesterday at Sam's club. Dropped dead of a heart attack. I did not see him fall but laid out on the floor with two people performing CPR. I would of liked to do it but they got there first and it has been ten years since my CPR training. Note to world take CPR course yearly. Now shopping for clothes that fit a fat guy like myself was not as much fun after that. The world goes on, shopping continued. I was truly saddened and felt like crying a bit. I never saw that before. I hope that I don't have to learn that way to loose some weight. What the hell, when I get back from my cruise I will loose all the weight that I gained on my cruise I promise.
I look forward to this vacation and rest from my responsibilities and obligations. However, it may not be enough to change the course. What is enough to change the course for ones life. Whom do we have that steers us towards a better way. I am blessed with those whom I rely upon and who can rely upon me. But are we all retarded? I hate to admit but my simple search for guitar tone and feel is a search for truth in some way. Am I giving my art enough of my time and intellect to grow. I guess or propose that things in our lives are in a cycle of growth or decay, acceptance or denial. Why are some people so far ahead and others so far behind? Where are we (myself and my family and friends) in all of this.
Oh well, humor does help it all.
bob
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
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