Kinda thinking too much about nothing interesting

Getting older sure does have it benefits.  It takes less time to pooh and I look forward to it more.  Walking long distances is not an option.  Running away from my problems involves running and I don't run anymore.  Sleeping around would likely just involve sleeping and my wife could not be too mad at that.  I care more about your feelings than my own but then again I care more about my TV than you or me so what good is caring more for you than me do either of us.  I miss the things that used to get me in trouble.  I miss being in trouble.  I miss caring so little about work when that is all that I seem to care about now.  There is such a fear that motivates us all to be successful but as we get older it seems to be stronger.  It is more a fear of starting over and not the success itself.  Its the mountain it takes.   I miss the lack of wisdom that I used to have when it involved pursuing what was fun to do.  I miss my Father every day of my life.  I miss all of my friends that I likely will never see again unless they die, but they won't really be there.  I am more grateful for the beauty that I find in simple people.  I miss that I don't take nor seek advice anymore but always feel as if I am in a position to give it.  I long for an erection that could hurt someone, other than their feelings.   I miss the confidence that I used to have for the things I could not do yet.  I now can see that all people are not created equally in talent or discipline.  I think that everyone deserves a chance to succeed, just not my chance.  I have noticed that some people have more degrees than they should to try to hide the fact that they are stupid.  What happens in the desert should always stay in the desert. It is not wrong to like men more than woman when you first get to know them.  There is a near zero percent chance that a man is going to give me herpes.  The older I get I realize how little most people care about anything.   I realize that I never had sex with someone that I thought was ugly.  I regret that.