Merry Christmas?

I hope that all of you had at least a fair Christmas. Mine was fair at best. Not horrible. There was some niceness but it was mostly from my girlfriend Russ and his family. I hope that they accept me still even thought I will most likely never turn gay and deflower their father. There is just some bridges that I will never cross. As for the home life, nothing better at Christmas like a good cold shoulder. I wish that people would hide their true feelings from me especially when they are negative in nature. I do my best not to share them with you. Sometimes I slip and curse and rant but I don't mean to do it. I just feel like for that instance you deserve to see my frustration. Don't worry, you can punish me endlessly and I will welcome the opportunity to let you back into my good graces when you are able to participate in normal healthy interaction. I look forward to when my memory fails me so that I can forget my life. Now that is a little sharp but who cares about me anyway. Oh, well. I am not going to let it ruin my day or even my minute. Being alone in a marriage has its advantages anyway. You know what the future will be. The joy that you will have in your life will be of your own creation. If you want to know what you do wrong you will and if you do everything correct you may achieve silence, at least they are not complaining. Oh well, Why do we spoil children and forgive their transgressions where as adults we are keeping score of everything that happens. Do we not appreciate that this life is temporary short time. I know that I can forgive but even that is lonely. I sometime wish that I could be a simpler person and just not think of such things but if I was then I would not be Bob. If anyone thinks that I am self pitying I may be, but say it to my face and see what you get. Just consider this another method of masturbation and then it may make sense. I have discovered recently what else does offend me. I will not reveal it as it will make it easier for those to do so. Oh well, I have work to do. Oh by the way, don't engage in political debate or rhetoric if you cant take any criticism. Just keep your fragile views to yourself.

Just another tricky day

When I am not stress out to holy hell I feel worse. Work is slow due to the economy and holidays and most of all my genuine dislike for people maybe showing more than it used to. I used to care so much about other peoples issues and concerns. Meeting and exceeding their needs meant so much to me. Today it means allot still but maybe not as much. My views are my views, my advice is my advice. Do as I say or don't. Your problems will be worse if you choose to manage them the way you are but that is just a moot point by now. I sometimes wonder how I fit into this paradigm. How my behavior causes me to suffer more than I should. I clearly know my faults and behaviors that I continue to pursue in spite of punishment. So we are all guilty of something. I guess that I truly want to be the most interesting and intelligent person in the world but that pursuit is probably neither. I surely make my life more complicated by caring for other people as much as I do. Lately, it is just more apparent how much less I get back. Not that people don't mean well but being kind, capable and sturdy just don't show up that often in one person. I did a nice thing today. I took a friend and their family out to lunch to celebrate her recovery from breast cancer. Now that is a good thing to do and I am pleased to do it for them as they are great people who know how to endure. Maybe, I should spend more time with them or the like. I would rather just play my guitar and eat sausage sandwiches but no one will let me. Being slow at work scares me to hell and back. I worked so hard to have what I have and it is evaporating. In my heart I know that I can climb any mountain again I just have to pull my self up and do something positive. I would hang out with more positive people but they are just so damn annoying. There bullshit mantra of just do and think positive. I am a negative serious guy who will succeed. I feel that I am changing from a talker to a doer. I don't know if that is possible but my wife's influence may be starting to take effect. Actions speak louder than words type of guy. I am also wondering if I should be myself even more with people. I hide my serious side because people don't need to know. Maybe I will be the serious man everywhere that I go and not the clown. I am sorry if I am boring, Now you know how I feel when I am with you.

A little board so I guess I can write en

Lets see if anything interesting can come out of a man who is board and alone. The alone part I am good with. As social as I am I do enjoy my alone time. Some people may say too much so you should call before you come over or at least knock. My general view is if you want to watch me do anything go right ahead. Anyhow, life at home is still very challenging. All the best wishes and efforts can only yield so much. At least I try and am consistent. You can't make people happy but you can try. When it comes to family you just keep on trying. I believe that not holding a grudge is important. If people are having difficulty the least you can do is not hold a grudge against them for it. I hate when people say "Don't take it out on me." Fuck those intolerant assholes. I am always putting up with their bullshit anyway and never say that to them as they would implode with grief. People generally don't like my answers to life's little problems. I tend to be too real or truthful. I say if you don't like it prove me wrong and change you situation to a positive one. If you are looking for someone to agree with you and that person is me you are in the wrong place. I generally will just not say anything but once in a while I will give you my opinion and guess what. I am right. The problem for me is that I am far too often right. I had a nice visit with my nephew this weekend and let him borrow my car to drive around. Pleased to say that he did not ruin the car and seemed to treat it with allot of respect. Amazing as it may seem people earn respect by their conduct not just being alive taking up space. I am proud of him for that. Somehow, the people that deserve positive attention don't get enough of it because they just do the right thing based on principle not reward. They are motivated by their own sense of good or service. I am far to motivated for that method of action and what do I have to show for it. That is why I may go and buy a telecaster today because I want another one. I may be turning a selfish corner here but that may be for the better anyway. I wish all my friends peace and harmony this holiday season even though all my friends have some level of turmoil and dismay. I will spend this holiday remorsing for my losses and fears for my future. Actually, I am learning to to think that far ahead. Live for today and be where you are for soon we all will be gone and all we will have left is a scar. Boy that would make a great Christmas card. I have good wishes for other but leave your problems to yourself and I will do the same. Don't ever say never in a million years because million years can happen.

anyway, I told you nothing fun today. I miss the days when I could kick you in the face and have more sex in a day than would take 2 months to achieve. At least I am an honest man.

bob

More thoughts for the weak minded.

Even my mind is getting weak. It saddens me to think that the only person that I can turn to for help is me but I seem to be the most qualified to help. Others could help but I do not want to burden them. Sharing my feeling usually leads to disappointment anyway. People tend to annoy me with their limits. I truly feel often that no one can help me anyway. I don't require ideas just show me kindness or some enduring character trait that I admire about you. I should make my best efforts to hide my feelings as if I share them you will feel pain. Giving people my pain does not make me feel better just ashamed as I should and can be stronger than that. I will and always will endure. If you really want to help leave me alone and don't tread on my space. I will leave you alone in return. It is sad to a degree that the ones who have great capacity to aid others are helpless themselves. I feel that as I get older I grow colder. I did have a young lady at McDonald's show kindness towards me that we both appreciated. A young pretty high school girl simply aware of how to say hello and simple repore made me feel better. It is a shame that we get so hardened by punishments life has to offer. No I am not attracted to her in a weirdo old man way. I save the weird stuff for middle aged men. I have a bias against anyone offering bullshit optimism to tragety. There is no reason for why things happen other than people are stupid, careless, or drunk so please spare the world your laim ass advice. I would rather prepare for the worst it can be as that is what it usually is. I can handle that too.

Back underwater again.

We shall see how much punishment can come from one mistake. We shall see. I want all the harm available. At least you can count on things being the worse that they can. For all you folks who thing being negative is bad GOOD FOR YOU. I am a realist not a negativist. I am more positive on my worst day than most people I know. I just am not in the mood for eating more shit. I am thinking what do I need to do the adapt to this problem. I had a breakthrough thought. My biggest problem, other than the other problems, are my health issues. Maybe I should deal with them and turn them into strengths. I could do it. I can do anything I set my mind to I just don't want to but I may halve to. I may loose all the weight and strengthen my arm so I am strong again out of sheer necessity. Today will be my true day one for those goals. Through strength and discipline I will recover whatever this life delivers me. I tell you one thing however, I am getting tired

Back in the Saddle Again.

I am pleased for my wife. She got another temp job. It is not much to brag about but I can brag about her if I like. She is in the ring again and for that I feel great. Great for her as she is I am sure pleased to be back, although a limited role, being a normal person again. I am so proud of her. She is quite the special Little lady. I hate to see her suffer and be depressed. This is not the light at the end of the tunnel per se but it is a new beginning. I am pleased for her. It has been a bit chaotic with the family. People just seem to have a hard time with boundaries. Now I am no saint by no means but at least I am careful with how I treat people around sensitive subjects. That is more than I can say for the rest of them. Just bulldozers of bullshit. Oh, does that hurt, here's more. Not a lot of sensitivity for other peoples feelings or territory. Now, we all need to continue growing so I don't want to point fingers. I would get into the whole thing but it would probably bore you as it bores me. Anyhow, the in laws came over for thanksgiving and all went well. I just wished that people would just leave me alone when I am trying to cook for twenty people. Just shut up. It is a fucking TV set. Find something to watch. There are no forks. So get out the fucking forks. I did everything I could to get as much work done before they all got there. I did a good job of that and all went well. I just wish they would not come over my house and boss me around. You can't have it all so I wont try. I actually care about them allot so it is easy to tolerate their manor. I just would not do it to others. Just shut up and do what you are told. It works for me with them at least. They just would not know another way. Either way, I hope your thanksgiving was full of sex and drunkenness. I am started another diet. We shall see how serious I am this time. I am tired of being tired that much is true.

Anyhow. I am proud of the little woman and that's all I am going to say.

bob

If I was a porn star I would have to be a soft porn short film specialist

In this world of specialization I must admit that I have expertise where it matters least. I would be good for a geriatric home video on why my balls don't work. Hey it is not gone yet but when it goes I wont care. It just does not have the importance that it once did. When I was younger I could dig a trench with the damn thing now I use it for strictly ornamental reasons. I would not be the same without it nor would I like to be but lets just say I am moving on. With or without you. My balls are in a recession. My new name is Dick Nemia.
Oh by the way I had my wife's dad shove his thirty inch pipe down my throat. He did not even take me out to dinner or get me drunk. I had an endoscopy without any meds. We did it old school. It was horrible. The worst feeling I ever had. It made me crazy for a few weeks.

Maybe I should just keep my thoughts to myself.

It seems that the world is not ready for BOB. They are definitely not ready for a BOB that is in distress. He has way too many hard edges on him. I am usually soft and kind but that is not all the time. Sometimes when I could use help I act out like so many people I see. But they don't know how to help when I do. I am not generally the guy who wants or needs help anyway. It is just not my role. Lately, however, I could use some. Lets face it the world only wants to deal with you when you are available for their needs. I am a smart enough guy but have yet to learn how to manipulate people to take care of me when I complain. I can hardly find the energy after listening to people complain all day to complain to others. It just is not me. Now for the future. It is hard to see how it will all play out. I may make some real big moves. The hope is for less overall suffering. Sometimes our attitudes and skills are not enough to control our destiny. Some factors are bigger than that. I wish that I could just toughen up and fix all my problems with shear ball power. This time it just does not seem like it would be good enough and may likely prolong my suffering.
I thought that I had a stressful life before all this trouble but I think it was easy in comparison. I know now how people feel when they have larger pressures. I am glad that I will be able to work through them. I know of many people who do not have the skills and opportunities that I will have to recover.
I know that my best play is to toughen up and not complain as people just don't care and if they did they don't know how to help. I am finding it hard to behave as strong as I want to. Not that I am far off of the mark but far enough off that I am not impressed but I am only human.
So hopefully, I will pull it together. The longer I am married the more I love my wife so at least at that I am successful. I better not be to complacent as I can screw that up too.
We all have peaks and valleys. This period is a valley for sure. I have to keep optimistic and value the friends that I do confide in as they are strong enough not to let me complain as it is not me. For that I am grateful. Why do I attract such hardened people. There are no softies in my world yet I am as soft as they come.
Oh well, To the future with glee and excitement. Happiness is in the eyes of the beholder.
To start over at this age scares me to death. I am having a hard time cumming up with a better decision considering the trends that I observe. I wish that I was wrong but it just does not happen often.
Anyway, I don't think that this post will enlighten or help anyone and for once in my life I could give a shit. I am not here, at least today, to impress you. Because for right now I just don't need to bleed anymore. Saving it for me.
I also have learned that I just argue too much with people. My life would be far easier to just agree all the time with the people I encounter. Why people debate me when I know more than them about things that I know better just does not make sense. People constantly do it to gain territory over you. I want to kick there asses. Why argue with me in the first place. I am glad that I do not have as many bad person habits that I observe in most people. Now I am half crazy if not more than half but I am not going to argue about the price I pay for something or call someone stupid enough times to get them to help me. A friend of mine owns a pawn shop and people constantly argue that what he sells is not worth the price that he sells and that he does not know what he is doing. He just kicks them out of his store. Say you don't want to pay for it but insulting him will not cause him to lower his prices. It just seems like a bad strategy. Now in my experiences the same questions always come up. Why are people so predictable and stupid at the same time. Oh well, it is just me being negative again and the world does not care so I will end this post for the day. Just as I was closing out the best guitarist ever came on the radio. Link Wray rules the world of guitar bob. Nobody know who that is and it is shame the the greatest was not known. If feel better now that I heard the great one. It reminds me that in many ways I am the great one. Do you know how you are great. (see I am always helping people even when sad you feel good and cant even do it)
\

Well it is as bad as it could be, but never too bad to handle.

That is what they say. God only gives you what you can handle. Now my God beliefs have long been trouble so lets not go there. I would likely offend allot of people who never read this God Damn blog anyway. I love people who get offended because you are not religious. Actually, not their religion. You never hear, but he is a practicing Jew or a good Muslim. It is all relative to me as far as I care. If that is what you need to get you through this life to the next so be it. However, the sequel is never as good as the original. I am not sure that I want more anyway. It is like waiting for my wife to put out. The waiting is just too much of an issue that I just forget about it. Now that does not mean we do not have a good marriage. She is just not wired for fun. I knew that when I married her so I am fine with it. Just be yourself, even if it bores me. Brings up an interested point that I have. I am never boring. Most people I run into are to some degree boring. Few are never boring. I am one of those.
I asked a gay guy the other day if he was getting any. He looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language. I am like yeah to catching any Ass. He did not answer just smiled. I asked him if ever in his life if any other non gay guy asked him that. He said no. I believe in fully accepting people not just tolerating them. Even if he is gay he needs that question every now and then. Regular guys ask each other all the time why not for him. He is still a guy. I feel that I am progressive on this issue.

Another thought I had was what should I buy my wife for when I am out of town on business so that if she needs to take care of her business she can and think of me at the same time. They just don't sell dildos that small. Maybe one for midgets, aka little people. Maybe I can fit in at their conventions and what not as I am also a little person to some degree.

To some small degree I have recovered my warped humor which is good. It is nice to have these thought pop into my head while at work or driving.

The band fired me, let me go or as they say moved on to a new project. I feel bad about it but at some level feel relieved or who the hell knows. I do miss playing as often as I did and playing with them was also at least fun albeit a struggle sometimes. I have found that I is not too hard to find other people to play with and that is good. Met some other players already and it is fun to play with other people who love to play as well. Not the girls did not like to play but there are other fish in the sea so to speak. I am back on my own to develop my talent and technique. I do feel that I got the short end of the stick but from my previous comments that's just the way it goes for me. I wish them well but we were together a long time and I hate to see people be better off without you and it seems that is the case here. I wish they fall into a well. Just kidding. It is time for real rock and roll and not imitation rock and roll. I have no aspirations of being a professional musician. I do have aspirations of being a great musician. I will continue my focus on what interests me which is classical music anyway. If I am going to imitate something it is going to be something great. Not the eagles, Joe Walsh maybe, or whoever. It is a chapter in my life that has closed and to some degree that is sad. It is similar to when a girlfriend brakes up with you. You are back to playing with yourself. The may be the title of my first album. It does surprise me how simple minded people can be. If it is convenient to simplify what is complicated for the ease of transition it is often used. Does anyone really know anybody in this world. No offense to the world but I know you better than you know me and it is not because I am shy or withholding. Yes I am a close to the vest guy, which most would not believe, but by no means not without clues. Trusting the world will treat you in kind is a loosing mans game that I keep playing. I am fortunate to see some see the value. I am very fortunate that my wife never disappoints me in this way so I should be pleased with that.

Anyway, that is enough crying for one day. So to this world Good For You.

BOB

Tough Times and the Homestead.

Some days are hard. Some days are the worst you will face. Some days you get the phone call that can change the rest of your life. Those some days are not welcome. I have learned that those days are inevitable and must be tolerated and revered because with out them we do not value anything else in life. What is the worst is the waiting but that is part of the pleasure of it all. Without detail, as I will not disclose anyway, my current dilema is as close as a family member death style of problem as it gets. Loosing a family member would be worse. Oh well I guess that would depend on who it is. Too make a long story short. Things don't happen for a reason but one should find reason in why things happen. lessons learned and harm felt is a lesson that we all have faced with more to follow. Some peoples pain is larger as they are self destructive but I can admit boldly that we all have trouble brewing. Like an earthquake it is inevitable. My question is are we happy enough when we are trouble free and can we remain happy despite loss, shame and despair. We are all vulnerable to a head shot on occasion. Just ask President Kennedy. We shall see how much blood is lost in time. Either way, I will be changed. As a method of my existence I will change for the better. It is how I roll.

BOB

It has been a long time since I have last blogged

OK so it has been a while. Not like anyone misses it. Lots has happened. I have completed my summers landscaping project. News to the world, I am getting good at this stuff. Many thanks to Russ for all of his help and leadership. Too bad my back is killing me just like his but my yard looks great just like his so I guess it is worth it. We had the big summer party and all went well. My brother Tim and Mike visited and they just don't seem to get along. Oh well, I try to bring people together but what can you do. We had a great jam and I was very pleased with every ones playing. I can't say the same for how others viewed my playing but they are not trying to do what I am trying to do so I don't expect them to understand. I am training to be a unique musician, not just a radio style reproducer of what other people already done. I am interested in creating my own style sounds and creations. That and after 10 beers I am into loud aggressive if not arrogant rock and roll. But isn't that what it is about. Maybe not. But it is for me. At this party is was nice to see old friends and family. It reminds me of the many nice people I am ignoring. I must stop that Bullshit behavior and make time for these nice caring interesting people.

Here is some random thoughts that I have had.

Do people have a whining instinct

Actually I do not have that much material that is new that seems to be any good. It is a good thing that I am not a professional writer, or musician for that matter. It seems that only I am impressed by my work. Others don't seem to like it as much. Yet they don't do it themselves. They just can criticize. Whatever I say to them. One thing I can say that groups of people are stupider and weaker than one. I bought 3 kegs of good beer for this party and when they were done 100 plus adults cant figure out how to get more kegs of beer. Pass around a hat and get 200 bucks and go buy some more beer. but no, No one would lead them so they would do nothing. No wonder Hitler got away with what he did. Because people need leaders. I am my own leader. Why do I even care about what others think. I care if they are upset but not so much with their opinion of what is good or appropriate. I care about what I like and if you like it too then good for you. At least when it comes to my blog and my guitar.

Anyway, I must go home and please the wife.

bob

Does OPRAH float?

I surely wish that I had a reality show that could finally answer that long debated question. She annoys me in every possible way. I would rather eat a plate of genital warts that to sit in her company, unless we were testing her buoyancy. I wish that I never had to go the the supermarket check out lanes and see her hideously arrogant glazed look of putrid self pride. She is not one of us. I know that I am jealous of her success. That is because I my self am a complete failure in my own life. I could never be as important as Oprah. I would not take her kidney unless she took a picture of it first so I could frame it. It is her magazine that I hate the most. Each cover is of her in some retarded pose. I wish that I had my own magazine all about me. Each page has me in some awkward pose. Either eating, crapping or being turned down by my wife. I mean things that would actually happen. Oh well, She is an easy target for me. I myself am a tad narcissistic but she brings it to a new level. Other thoughts, I am over my malaise and am looking forward to making new mistakes and errors. Failure and error are the best teachers just forgive the ones I make and I will learn from them. Too bad that so many people are exposed to my slow learning curve. I will now go home and treat the wife to all of my limited attention span. Now that I am exhausted from the rigors of work and responsibly I will pretend to be interested. That's not completely true, I am somewhat interested. If she really cared she would read my blog but she refuses. Again, she is not retarded. Reading this blog will make you dumber. My friend Rocco is going to buy a motorcycle. I cant say that I support that but what the hell. He has the balls to race like a moron in a 45 year old car why not a new motorcycles. I think that motorcycles are gay. "I want to travel" Then travel you don't need to kill yourself for that. I just know that I am not the guy to ride a motor bike. I would roll the dam thing.

Okay I got to go and play the good husband. She said to be home early so that means early. If she is forced to wait there are consequences. If she don't put out I still got Milly

Just a minute to spare so why not share.

So What is New with THE BOB.

Nothing too exciting. Summer is in full swing which is good. I do enjoy eating and drinking beer outside during the summer brings me back to the old times. Old school style. Speaking of such I am going back to my old town to see old friends and streets. I have discovered however that you can never really go back. What was was and it is gone. We try to recreate the past or rediscover ourselves by those who know us long ago but I already know most if not all is lost. People are not interested in starting over with friendships and actually being friends. I understand how it is but to some degree it is sad. To those few that do get the fact that I am interested in being a real friend that can continue forward I am greatly apprecitative and impressed. It furthers my opinion that most people do not care and those that do need to be revered. I have always had a philosophy with friends that is more important that the other person is interested in being a friend than any other trait. For example, I have allot of friends with whom I have very little in common other than we enjoy each others friendship. Having things in common is not enough to maintain friendships. It actually limits them to some degree because it is a disguise for friendship. It brings up a more important view but to live in the now and future and not the past. The past is welcome but I am moving forward. The only problem was when we were younger there was so much forward to go. Now it is mostly work to progress. Trimming down the excess. I was looking forward to seeing all of my high school friends. Now I am looking forward to just those who return my emails. Really looking forward to those who have given me something interesting to talk about. But I know now even before I go back that you can never go back just forward. The clan gets smaller as we get older. The man gets wiser as he gets older. I always felt, and to those who know me it is no secret, that I am smarter than you are is my general belief and if that is not true I will beat you up if necessary. That is the Irish way, If I cant out think you I will strike you. Now that I am self admittedly half retarded where does that leave everyone else. Again it brings up what I admire about my wife. I may be smarter than her but she if far less retarded than me. She is possibly the least retarded person I know. As I grow older and wiser she becomes more brilliant to me. I am pleased for that. And with that leads to the next lesson. Just do what she wants because if you don't the punishment will be 3 times worse than the inconvenience of the task that she wants. So just do what she wants. Girls have the great capacity to punish more than the males. A female on the Supreme Court. Sounds great to me. Someones ass will be cooked long and hard for hardly nothing. Sounds fair to me. It is a big myth that they are the kinder more nurturing race. It is just a perception. Unfortunately, perception is reality. So today's thought is perception. How you are perceived is more important than reality.

So as I grow and mature into a middle aged man I recognize my strengths and weakness. I realise that I am generally able to do for others more than they can do for me. Two reason. 1 don't tell them what I need and 2 I am not too needy in the first place. All I really want is something interesting to talk about. A simple desire that is not as simple to achieve.

That is enough for one day.

Happy Bob will be back tomorrow.

So much to write about but who cares anyway

You know their is so much to say but why bother. It hurts to say it anyway. Good news is that my wife still loves me and I surely do not give her the credit or love that she deserves. I am getting better at it but for what it is worth being a good loving husband is something to always improve upon. I clearly made a good decision when I married her. I cannot say the same for her. What I like best about her is that she does not get mad at what others would find very irritating. Like when I call her up to pick me up because I am too drunk to drive. Then I puke in her car. She barely got mad at that. If I leave the light on or neglect her timed appointments she will near kill me. But at least I can puke in her car. Overall she is quite the amazing little person. She is half the size of anyone and twice the person. She is mighty but kind. A true force of nature. And since I have discovered that to make her happy rather than miserable my life has been so much better. At its core my life is fine because we are good. I have had my fair share of marital trouble and can gladly say that life is far better without it. I have figured out also that all she requires is some time and attention. Like all of us we need things from others. I was lucky in finding someone who is not needy. It does not mean that they don't need to be happy. So I will make this note brief as I will go home and take her to our favorite restaurant. Perspective is everything. Someone who does not abuse you when you are vulnerable is amazing. People need to accept what is not perfect in others. Most people find great faults and capitalize and rejoice over it. She does not.....Now if I make that type of behavior a habit my ass is cooked.

BOB

A liltte self gratification can go a long way

Hello All,

Not doing as bad as I was. I feel that I may have passed the point of burn out so I look forward to the new levels of despair that I will find myself in. Overall I do feel better, I had some of Rocco's Sausage and I just feel better. Thank you Rocco. I will show my wife how you handled your sausage so maybe she could do it as well. Truth be told half as well and I would be pleased. Rocco's Sausage was likely the best I ever had. He tends to go all the way with what ever he does and that is why he is famous in these parts. God bless Rocco's sausage. Now I was not ready to ask him to make me a cream sauce as his wife prefers just the sausage as do I. Some day it would be nice to see how he makes a cream sauce as he makes everything so well. A true standard to be compared to. Simple yet Delicious. He should have his own cooking show and me as his ed McMahon saying you are correct sure. Your sausage is near perfect. NASA should measure the quality of your sausage. Okay, I don't want to cross over to gayness here on this blog. My brother Tim is coming into town with my brother Mike. Maybe we can have a threesome, like the old days.

Well lets see I did thank Rocco for sharing his sausage, I suppose next blog I will have to thank Don for showing me some excellent world class clam. I cant wait. I do like sausage but I still prefer the taste of clams. I assure you that if clams are available I will not be eating any sausage. I do have a preference and when fresh they are the best.

Okay, That is all for today. I have to go home and pack to prepare for my trip to BOSTON. It will be very nice. It will be great to get away from the excitement that is my life.

BOB

I am at Rocco's Eating some grub.

I am not yet ready to make decisions. Please don't ask me questions when I do not want to receive them. If you are fucking busy with something I tend not to ask you questions. What are you doing. Are you going to do this next. Please for the love of God Shut the FUCK UP. I don't ask questions all the time just most of the time. If you want to annoy the piss out of someone ask them questions while they are doing something. It is my newest pet peeve. Also just ask me what you want to lead me to some destination. If it is hot in the room don't say it is hot. Ask if you can turn down the thermostat or better yet just do it. I would not refuse your comfort. Its hot, its cold, its too bright, I am too gay. Just do it and leave me out of it.

I don't mean to be too easily offended but I am warning the general world that I have not hit anybody in quite a long time and I feel that EVIL BOB is due for an appearance.

May peace love and harmony fill your heart and those also to whom you love

GOD BLESS

BOB

Happy Fourth of July

Not much new with me. Just relaxing in the heat of the day. Washed and waxed my old man car. It looks nicer but who is going to notice a Buick century. It would be like me shaving my balls. Sure it looks better but who would notice. Let alone care. Maybe, I am just not a flashy guy. I had a talk with my wife yesterday and she is convinced that I could not get laid at will when I was younger. All because I didn't does not mean that I couldn't. I am sure that I had more opportunity than I exercised. I don't have any regrets anyway but more may have been better. Either way I don't have any illegitimate children or a dreadful rash that would infect my hands that would infect you because I am a hugger. I showed her later my dance moves and man strut. She is even more convinced that she was right. Now in my history I was never the guy to follow if you wanted to score the chicks so maybe I will concede the truth. Who else would ask a hot waitress at a bar if they have a break room or better yet a dental plan. Oh well, If I get another chance at the world I would most likely do it all again the same anyway. I make a poor wing man. I am not interested in entertaining women on their terms. Either you enjoy my humor and company or you don't. Women tend to don't as you may have noticed I tend to say things that are on the boarder line of bad taste. I think that I am funny often, and most definitely more often than you. Now I have some women friends but I do not scale it down all that much. If they like it I like them. If they say you shouldn't say that. I say SCREW YOU. at least in my head. I generally avoid them after that. Why do you deserve special treatment from me when I require none of it from you. As I have gotten older I have become more acceptable in general but I am usually irritated by those who require special consideration. I have an option for you. Just don't be my friend. I will OK with that.
I definitely have a male personality or at least sense of humor. The women I have run into over the course of my life tend to fake more often. I may be allot of things but fake is not one of them. If I have to behave in an unorthodox way just to be in your company why bother. However, if I trust and admire you I would gladly behave in anyway that pleases you. There are many people in my life, my in laws and others, that I freely engage the good BOB for. People wonder how I do it. It is the same BOB just a different approach. The key to it all is that I like or love them therefore I want to be pleasant for them. SO if you find me rude and crude A. you do get my humor because you are such a tight ass and or B I just don't care. You pick.

Send the Kids outside. It is finally safe

The king is gone and he was forgotten. Who really is going to care that Michael Jackson died other than the people whom he owes money to. I mean that guy should of had his head beaten in with hammers a long time ago. Now I was not on the jury but there seems to me more than enough evidence that proved his guilt than you or I would have had the benefit of. Not to mention would not have done in the first place. Brings back bad memories. An ex sister in law once made comment to the effect that I was inappropriate at one point with my nephews. Lets just say I have never forgiven nor forgotten the gesture. She has allot of mental problems so lets just leave it at that. But Hammer and Heads did cross my mind. They are all over 18 years old now so it wont be illegal if we fornicate in anyway so I guessI have the green light if I wanted it. I think that I will continue with my normal loving relationships that I have with them. But thanks for the suggestion. Brings up allot of pain for allot of people sexual abuse. I am glad to say that I have only abused myself sexually. I can not get anyone else to use it let alone abuse it. A sickness I believe it to be but a mental illness that has such grievous consequences on the health and happiness of other is horrible to say the least. My sympathies for those whom have suffered from it. Like I said I have enough problems with my sex life with out that stuff swirling around in my head. Life is hard enough if you are normal and well adjusted. Now those who know me would not describe me as normal and well adjusted but I am as best as I can tell.

Enough heavy thoughts here are my random thoughts that I have had recently.

1. If you are gay does that qualify you for disability.
2. If everyone in the world was as smart as I am then I would not have an advantage
3. A boring baseball game is a redundant term
4. We have wedding pictures what about professional pictures of the wedding night. come on it will be the best you both look and at least once in your life you both are interested.
5. Why is the term This Blows refer to things that are not good. I tend to like things that blow and would reffer to them in a positive way.
6. In Poker I love the term ALL IN. When I say that during sex I don't get the same ohs and ahs the I get at the poker table. It just is not as special. Definitely not worth advertising.
7. Why are people interested in genealogy. My family tree needs to be pruned or just returned for a new one. It did not take. Look your ancestors where whores, everyone one of them. That's how you got here so be grateful.
8. I hate it when people say "If God wanted you to have this he would have gave them to you." as if you are that good of an authority. Look just say your opinion. Calling God stupid does not make you right asshole.
9. Nerds seem to age better than other people. They look the same all their life. The get older but not worse looking. Maybe because they never looked good in the first place. Conan O'Brien looks the same and would say he looks like a nerd. I think that I have always been a nerd. Just a nerd that would punch you in the face.

Way to upset for way too littleo

Things are a little upsetting here at Bob Land. Not the bliss that it should be. Overall my life is good. Happily married, successful at business, many friends and family is good. So why am I upset. Well I am going to go crazy playing in my band. The politics and general band division is starting to take me down. Now I am committed to changing my attitude about the whole thing and just enjoy it for what it is and not hope for what it wont be. Basically it wont be good. We are at best fair. It does upset me because I am a decent musician who practices daily and is furthing my talent with dutiful study. But further than that I bring it. I have the Balls to back it up and have the confidence to play with players who are better than me. I need to be more challenged. I need others who can push me the way I can push them. I need to develop my own playing further and am actively doing that. We shall see what happens but the big picture looks fairly boring. It has been most boring. I am fed up the negative feelings and playing. I just want to have fun with it and in many ways it just isn't that much fun a anymore. Its a chore. A mediocre chore at best. I would like to speak with them about it but what can they do. Play at my level, Play with confidence and purpose. I don't think that they will understand my perspective anyway. Either way, I am way too upset for a fucking hobby. So part of my solution will be to take the whole thing a lot less serious and to pursue my betterment as a musician as I have.

Okay that is pretty laim, but it is easy to get emotional about such things. Anger and frustration is easy to achieve when you deal with groups. To some degree I don't think that this problem is unique to my group but an inherent part of any group thing. That is why I love classical music. As it is in my sex life I am the only one to decide how to play. No other party there to screw up what I want to do. I am solely responsible for all of it. It does appeal to me, it always has.

anyway, enough crying about my band. Maybe, I will try to fix the flaws that I see and not break it further. We shall see.

BOB

It is a brand new day.

Okay, Another Monday. Big deal right. Well we all have a chance to hate our lives next Monday also. I have been giving my Buick some thought. &Most people try to be younger and buy cars that are younger looking and such. They feel that there image is so important that they should drive a car and dress a certain way to express that they are attractive, fertile, or sophisticated. I don't seem to car about stuff like that. If you know me then you know that I am attractive, fertile and sophisticated. Okay at best I am sophisticated. Maybe even attractive if you are drunk or just very lonely. Now fertile has yet to be proven. Okay, I am not any of those things but at least I am not pretending by driving or dressing the part. They say act as if. I say act like an ass. I did buy some really nice speakers today. A set of B&W, I think that I am going to back and pick up the other two for my home theater system that I do not have yet. Damn though as I listen to them now if I am a snob about anything it is guitars, amps and speakers. Now that stuff I will spend some money on. And I can enjoy them everyday And I think that they make me better person, if not at least a better musician. Now that is going well enough but I am starting to slack off a bit and you cant do that with classical guitar. 1 hour everyday has to happen for me. That would work but that is not as easy as it sounds. Now I can surf for porn for 18 hours a day. I can even dig holes for hours but reading music is harder than that for some reason. Anyhow, I can and will do it. It is my passion and pursuit.

Now on a new topic of honesty in our lives. I do try to be honest most of the time. I think that I am one of the more honest people that I know. Not only honest but pursuit of better things for all involved. I guess if I was more honest I would tell the truth to people when they annoy me or when I find objection. I just don't find much benefit in that. Maybe more than honesty I have started to say and think kinder things about others more often. Why not just say what is on your mind if it is kind. Most people don't because it may be inferred as manipulative. I see as who else is going to tell you anything nice or kind because you suck anyway.

I think that we should shrink our lives down by a factor of 100 and all our problems would be resolved. We are just too damn big for our own good. Big Bigger Biggest. It is the wrong direction. If we we the size of ants we would not have near the problems. How much property tax would there be on my little ant house. But then we would have tinny little dicks and that would not work so forget it. I think that midgets would survive the Apocalypse as they are more fit for survival.

A certain friend of mine keeps on having anal sex with his girlfriend. He calls me up and says Pooh Bear. I say what? Like I should know the code words for the sexual deviants. If I was a pitcher (I prefer to catch) I would only have maybe two good pitches. I don't have any fancy moves. Just the straight ahead style that has create millions of Irish underachievers. Now my friend has the sacred handbook and takes things to levels that people should not be on. I don't think that wild animals would do those things out of respect for the natural order of things. I think that he wants to go to prison as a sort of freaky vacation. Oh well, He just should not tell anybody. I cant wait to meet her and wonder how she was violated, Then ask her if she has any friends.

That is enough for today. If I have not said anything nice to lately. I have not thought of it and I probably don't like you much.

bob

Jon and Kate plus Bitch

Lets face it, Kate is a bitch on that show and she don't even know it. She thinks that she is okay. She is part socialist, part snob, and part flake all wrapped up in big ass pain in the balls. Now her husbands seems like one hell of a nice guy that just took his and about 20 other peoples hard times and is done with it. I could give a crap about them but if you act or look like Kate you are wrong. It brings out the fact that many of us are way too hard on those people to whom we love. Maybe we should be careful with how much we love each other.

Oh well got to go. Hate to cut this one short but that is all for today

bob

Home Alone

The wife was out of town for the past week. She went to Vegas with my mother. Supposedly she won money. Supposedly she missed me. We shall see when she gets home. The house is in good order and all went smoothly when she was gone. No disasters. Not much happened.

I was bored when she was gone so I ordered the Doctor Mengela home experiment kit. I wanted to see how many days a small dog can go without food and no could answer the question.

We had a good jam last night. trying to blend with the new guitar player. He plays well and that is cool.

Another random thought in conversation with someone who was having trouble with there husband I commented that there is a reason that men can not reproduce with other men. It would result in inbreed retardation.

I think that I got most of the old man smell out of the Buick. It is really a nice driving car. Kind of boring but then again so am I.

Timmy pick up a girl last night and got some action. He is very please. I just hope that he doesn't get any horrible rash from this one like he did last time he got some. Anyway, he is having fun and that is a start.

Just resting up on my Sunday afternoon over a friends house. He cooked me a Delicious meal with a nice cake for dessert. I felt bad that he wife is there while he tries so hard to pursue me. I almost feel guilty. I don't know what kind of magic I have but people love to feed me. It is nice.

My uncle did pass away and although I was not too close with him it is still sad. It brings up allot of inperfections in peoples relationships when a death occurs. It can bring out the worst in people more often than the best. People are way too concerned with what other people are doing. Like it matters anyway. You cant change the events or circumstances that much anyway. Tolerance for others is a big theme of mine. Some people have less tolerance than others. Some people have tolerance problems. I just try to stay out of the way.


That is all for today. The family loss has left me a bit melancholy

bob

What is up with my obsession with the pre dead

OK, it is sad news that my uncle is passing away. He was an okay unlce at best. see him at Christmas and that was about it. He only lived 5 miles away tops but he did not seem to have the patience or interest in kids. My family of five boys was a hand full but wtf we were loving little schmucks. I was going to go down for the funeral out of respect for my mother but she is not even going to attend. So I guess that I am off the hook there. I would have gone but if she is not there who am I going to support. Anyway, it is a strange preoccupation that I have had recently with the near or pre dead. I just bought a gentleman's car who was forced due to his declining capacities to move to a nursing home. The problem was that I had to wait a month for title to come in as he had lost it. The whole time wondering if he is going to make it long enough for me to get the car. It is a 2003 Buick Century with 23000 miles and one bad smell in the interior. Now I don't think that my balls smell that bad yet so my wife should not be running away the way she does. Oh well, that will be another days topic.

Other thoughts, why do we always blame the dogs owners for their problems. Look some dogs are just bad, like kids, even though there parents are good. We had a dog run away and get creamed by a car. People we like you should not own dog if you are not ready for the responsibility and all that crap. Most did not even say, "Sorry to hear that" they went right into blame mode. Hey I did not play Lewis and Clarke and decide to run 5 miles from my house in 22 minutes. I don't like being 5 miles from my refrigerator or toilet if I can avoid it. I don't run into loud shinny moving objects. It would be like me running into a jet plane going down the runway. Why blame me? Anyhow, I did feel bad about it but that dog was bad to begin with. A shelter dog. Why do people get shelter dogs. They suck, I am not dog Freud. Would you want to talk and let in your house a shelter person. They are great if you want your life ruined as well. Sure, I support the mentally handicapped and emotionally disturbed and believe all people deserve a quality of life and a great country takes care of these people, just not in my house. Speaking of that some punk looking kid, probably a 22 year old kid skateboarded up to me as I was walking to my car after the 5th 12 hour work day of the week and asked me if I had a dollar. I looked at him very sternly and said no dude. The level of anger was very good in my voice. My body language said that if he pursued this conversation any further I would knock his ass out. No questions asked. It felt good to know that if approached in the public arena I can still deter if need be. Now, if he came to my office and asked I would not have been as aggressive but in a parking lot. I don't feel that it is a safe place to negotiate so I wont bother with the small talk. Just get the F&*& away from me. I am usually a very meek and calm guy.

Okay, I got distracted. I wish that people would take the same causative approach for the mistakes that they make as they do about pet owners. If I screw up, I screwed up. No sense blaming other people for it. I also don't like creating stories of why people screw up. He did it because he was tired, drunk, depressed, lonely, horny, or whatever. Who cares why you screwed up. That is for you to figure out for yourself. I just don't waste my time with it anymore.

One more thought for the day. I find it odd when a girl speaks of another girl as their girlfriend. I often wonder if that means they are a lesbian. Why do I have to confronted with that dilemma. Maybe it is the ugly girls that say it because at least then they can be someones girlfriend.

that is enough for today.

bob

I am feeling a bit cranky

It is not unusual for an Irish man to loose his temper. What bothers me is when if you loose your temper people get offended. That is so gay. Man up and take it. If I loose my temper and it was not at you whom I was angry with please don't make it you. I was really offended when you lost your temper. "Why, I was not even mad at you." It always is about me and so therefore I should understand how others have their self story in every event as well. Lets just say that the worlds sensitive people don't seem to show the tolerance they so need from others. You would think that they would have an idea about how to aid or assist someone who is having a bad day or two. But no, they are incapable. Way too much incapability roaming around me. The options for me are simple. Do I wall off my feelings even further due to the lack of others ability to handle them. Or just get more disciplined in my mind to have complete control of my actions and attitudes. I will most likely do both. Back up with the wall. And then people complain that they don't know me. Do you really want to know me?

Anyhow, on a lighter note. My wife has refused two pearl necklaces that I have tried to give her. Why does she do that? Could the ladies that visit my post inform me of her dislike for my generous gifts. Pearl necklaces are not easy to make, and these were nice big ones so I just don't get it. I try so hard to please her and give something that she can wear when she goes out but like everything else she finds fault in them. Oh well. But whenever I see a woman wearing pearls around her neck I know that she loves her man in a way that I envy.

On a similar subject. I get no respect at all. I went for a massage and the guy charge me extra for his happy ending.

Anyhow, tolerance and acceptance is a flawed strategy. Maybe I will join the masses and just not care. Probably not, that is not my nature. Being the fool for others is not my nature either so something is going to change. We shall see what it is.

BOB

Waiting and Wanting

I can tell you one thing waiting does suck. I am a very patient man but waiting can get pretty annoying. I am sure for those who know me that SURE BOB THAT'S IS WHAT WE HAVE BEEN SAYING ALL THIS TIME . OK to them you are right. Waiting sucks. But when the people you are waiting for suck that is even worse. At least when you wait for me when I get there I don't suck so that is at least better than what I have to deal with like the endless waiting for someone to show you the respect that I am deserved by not allowing this empty feeling of aloneness pursist until I start to worry maybe you jump out of a building and finished off what we wish you would have years ago. Maybe you are still self gratifying yourself with food or stuff that you have to do in the privacy of your bathroom. Maybe you got your hair too wet and needed to let it dry before you left the house. Maybe your dog would not crap on demand and you had to chase it to get it back in


OH lucky you they made it.


BOB

only 37 minutes late.

My wifes husband is an assolehi

Yes it is true. Everyone thinks so.

A couple of random thoughts. I hate it when people ask you if you have a cold. I generally always reply no I have tuberculosis. The despair comes from peoples fear of their own world and how you may contaminate them into getting sick. They don't care if you are sick or not feeling well but would you get me sick. It is a good thing that homosexuality is not contagious or stupidity and ignorance. If all the dumbs asses I run into were contagious I would be eating baby food only.

An interesting topic of positive reinforcement has come up in my life. I believe strongly in the power of positive reinforcement as a lever to move all people with. Negative reinforcement or just general critical tone forces people away. It is a universal law.. Funny thing is how few people seem to understand this fact. I would not be able to recognize positive reinforcement if it was delivered by UPS. People are inherently negative reinforcers and I just don't try to fit that style as I find it very ineffective way of motivating and influencing people. Peoples egos are generally way to fragile to handle any criticism even when it is positive. "Hey Paul those shorts really seem to show your genitals in a positive way." To his reply "Are you looking at my genitals?" Still even positive reinforcements and compliments are shunned as they may be negative.

I just think that people are way too sensitive. I tend to admire those whom are not.


BOB

Why arent funerals any fun?

The funeral went well today. As good as one can go. I did well.....I did not shit my pants or curse all day long. I am glad that I went. It does bring back allot of feelings that I have concerning the loss of my father 8 years ago. You know that you are a narcissist when even at a funeral it is all about me.

I would appreciate that at my funeral we get a stripper pole and do cocaine all night long. Now I am not into that stuff at all and in general find it offensive but who cares I wont know the difference. I must advise that on my death bed bring me a sandwich and plenty off them. I believe that a good sandwich can cure someone. I think it makes more sense than most of the drugs they give you anyway. I also want the priest or who ever is talking about God to be interrupted several times while he is speaking because they always interrupted me during my life to talk their God talk when I want to talk cars and guitars.

I also want some food 6000 grand I want sushi for Christ sake. That is more money than I would pay for a kidney if I needed one. (I am cheap)

Now other thoughts that I had today. If you had to go down on a Senior citizen, for any reason, could you tell her p*&sy from her ass. (funny thing is how can &*%#@! take the vulgarity out of that) And is it reasonable, if you are that hard up to pick up chicks at a mental hospital or halfway house type of setting. I hear those chicks are horny.

Now it is obvious that I have some deep resentment somewhere along the line, and at this rate it wont likely get much better. I do believe that humor is everywhere if you look for it.

Also, and no disrespect intended for those who have tried suicide and failed but wtf. I get it that you are depressed but you must also be stupid because if you can tie your shoes you should be able to jump off a bridge or pull a trigger. Just another random thought of the day.

The thoughts are of the sad variety but I did have bit of a sad day.....(again ALL ABOUT ME)

BOB



PS best wishes to the mother of smatigattzz

Sad day for a dear friend

A tribute to Rocco's Mom who passed away today. Not an easy time. Not an easy way to console. I don't think that you can console such things just be there as a friend. He help me through my loss so I will help him the best I can.



On a lighter note, I am not gay. I made a decision. Can someone decide to be gay like the conservative right believe you can. I personally don't think you can. I also wonder why I have not given myself herpes yet. I never wash my hands before....you know.

I was startled at work today and almost I stress almost responded to outside stimulus. The phone was ringing and after three rings I almost moved to get it. It was then that I noticed that I have cat like reflexes. (albeit a very slow lethargic cat)


That is all for today

bob

Is winter over yet?

Winter just wont quite. That is fine I guess not much that I can do about it. Hanging out at home here with the misses.... No offence but she is easily entertianed by the hallmark channel. I think it sucks but what do I know. She likes it and that is good enough for me. She wont let me watch porno this early in the afternoon. Work is slower than I like but so what it seems that whole nation is in a slow down at least that is what I heard on tv. Lets see my hermano has got it groove back into his life. I wish that I could be that self destructive but somehow my sensabilty just wont let me screw up that bad. It is like a bad dream that keeps on repeating. groundhog day meets corky. Oh well, he has more fun than I do. Now that would be true of alot of people. The guitar lessons are comming along well enough getting some motivation to study again. It goes in cyles, it is rather difficult stuff but being blessed with god given rock and roll talent I would hate to see it go to waste.

that is all for today.


bob

To all those who saw my sack we salute you

I jumped in the pool with a full frontal weggie after about 8 or so beers. Thank you for the oportunity to share my dream. I feel that showmanship is everything. Is he going in the pool in his underwear....oh my god wait theres more..... did he really do that.

I can tell you without hesitation that computers can suck my ass. they brake down and screw up all the time. my work computer crashed yesterday and I almost killed four people........

These damn computers are way to important. even more important than deep human emotions and feelings if you asked me yesterday any questions about anything I would have told you to go f yourself if you asked me twice I would have shown you how. It puts me in an awful way. technology sucks for the most part.......My technology requirements are probalbly much less than yours.


anyhow I am having a sleep over at roccos tonight i hope this is not the night that he and his lovely wife want to have some wierd kinky sex or something I just dont feel the love tonight.


bob

People have bigger problems than me

I guess that my life ain't so bad. It is a tad bland and boring with too many hours of work dealing with peoples problems that they created for themselves but without people screwing up I would not have any work. So peoples stupidity and stubbornness is recession proof I hope.

Not to give too much info away a little moment of silence for my hermano.



Okay that's enough silence. My father would say he would f up a wet dream. Oh wait he said that to me.

Hey I almost bought a new car. You know How much I love cars. Not finalized yet but a 2003 Buick century with 23K on it. It comes with its own diaper. It was cheap and actually should be a real nice car to drive my fat ass in. I should by a Benz but I am one cheap as guy. Anyhow, my guitar lessons are doing okay. I need to practice more. the one good thing is that I recognise that practice and playing is more important than the amp and gear. But having the right stuff does help.

All I can say is does it hurt when the penis hits the fan blade and wouldn't you know how it feels after the first time doing it. Would you close the door on your balls more than once?


had my cholesterol checked and I am good to go. Bring back the bacon.

I had I nice visit to Florida to see my mom and relatives. Spent some time in a nursing home, that place is not so fun. It was nice to visit but can I say get me the f out here. leaving there you wonder if you did enough in your life or enjoy things enough. I will never question about how much I self gratified myself, I did enough. I guess that I did not learn my lesson I bought a Buick. (it is a nice car though)

that is all for today.


bob

Happy Valentine's Day.......?

First things first, If you need to be reminded to sexually pursue someone you are not doing well.... I do not have to make a big fuss or appointment to eat or crap.....Sex is not that much different....Should I send my love to all that I care for? Send them a Valentine's gift of some sort. That would be a fairly large list......And I would expect some sexual gratification out of.....Think of it as my personal stimulus package....That is the only stimulus package I support. It must end in Sex.......

So I will take my wife out for Valentine's day to here favorite restaurant and maybe I will be even extra nice to her But I am not putting out if she does not get me anything, she takes me for granted... Actually we are getting along fairly well. The sad thing about valentines day is for the people who are not feeling the love. That's got to be worse. I have been there too.

Oh well what do I get my right hand for valentines day........She never fails me.

If you are reading this blog you are probably on the list of people whom I would send a valentine to so now you owe me sex.

OK TIM

What you did was wrong...The car before the horse or should I say whorse

I wonder what her big complaint was....Did you show her your new trick?


Anyhow I got to go and be nice to the little woman........Then maybe she will give the alone time that I need to finish of valentine's day right.

bob

Timmy Dreams Big

I am not hungover. I guess that I made the right choice because hangovers suck for me. They can last for days.

Okay some new thoughts that I have had.

Okay My brother Tim has made it back to the blog and unfortunately it is not a great report.
Now we all have dreams. Some dreams have deep internal meanings that reveal their deep inner self. He keeps having a reoccurring dream of giving himself oral sex. Now I am a person who generally thinks that a persons dreams should be pursued and hopefully accomplished. I just don't think that he should pursue this one. He asks "Do you ever have dreams like that?" Where upon my drab response is "NO" Tim's response to my lack of understanding was "It not like I go to town on it" I now will know what JACKPOT means in his diary if he had one.
(only kidding Timmy, I just think what Brett said was funny enough to share)

Okay other tasteless thoughts.

Do you believe in UFOs. I do.... I have been know to have created some myself. Unidentified Fecal Objects.

Quotes from the past few days

Anyhow, I had a real bad day yesterday. "I was really mad at myself today. But its okay. The makeup sex is great."

Okay, a little tribute to my wife when asked how is she. "She is great. She does not take up allot of space and does allot of work."


Also I am not fixing things, or braking them further, things that I broken already. So I am leaving them for Rocco. If I break it he will have to fix it. He is responsible to carry the my burden for destruction. I am doing him this favor because he is my friend. I usually brake things to the point that Nostradamus couldn't figure out what has happened. So the first signs of fire or sparks I put my hands in my pockets. THANKS ROCCO

That is all for today.

bob


PS

Tim does deserve co credit for the writing of his "BIG DREAM" Your a funny guy

I guess that I never really left

Some interesting re connections over the past few weeks via the wonders of facebook. It has been great to reconnect with people that you loved from the past. Funny thing is we tend to forget how much we really loved them, and how important we are to so many people. It brings pride to me to still after twenty plus years still to be known and how much it can effect you to be a building block in others lives. I hope that I was as good to them as I could be and knowing myself I was. But knowing me I wish that I could have done more for them. When I was younger I was a shy guy. What happened to that guy? Truth be told I am still shy and withholding. It just wont stop me anymore.

It does bring to my conscious just how important we are to so many people. I have been blessed in a sense of having a life where that burden has been met with joy and I hope friendship for others. I tend to tolerate almost anything someone could throw at me but I now realize where that came from. It is from my crazy family. They have trained me to drink my own piss if I had to . No torment was off the charts. No subtle of decorum in our gatherings. But it was never boring and I must give thanks and praise to what it is to be Irish, guilt ridden and ready to defend our wrong actions with fervor.

We were truly a force of nature. It feels good to be battle tested years before the battle.

It has its drawbacks to an extent. The most people that I run into could not survive in my family. We would consume your life. There was no individual rights in our house. What was yours is mine because that is the way it is. I still cannot buy a shirt that looks good in fear someone else might like it an wear it first.

I do sometimes run people over with my overpowering personality but in my family growing things over time and consideration just did not make sense to us. It was what it is. Like it or not. We don't mince words or lead people on. We are as we appear. CRAZY

I think that I will work a little harder at being a better friend to those who accept my infectious disease. Knowing me or my brothers is lifelong illness. Like herpes or hepatitis

Moreover a sincere thanks to those in my past who saw things in me to keep in their hearts.



PS

I did quite coffee and most forms of caffiene 2.5 weeks ago. Now I am sniffing paint thinner.
Caffiene is a pretty strong addiction if you drink as much coffee as I did. I dont feel any better for it and am wondering why the hell I gave it up.... I thought that it may make me a healthier person but I am not convienced. Exercise and a good balance diet theory just wont happen. Oh well, I am not going back to it as I dont like climing mountains twice.


bob


PSS

this will be the last gay bob blog of 2009.

Hey can I borrow your chapstick

Lately I have been a boring guy. I have been trying to think about other peoples needs first. Let me say one thing... Its not me... I am going to go back to my auto pilot type of thinking...other people suck anyway....all they want to do is talk about themselves...and they are boring.....I may be allot of things but I am not boring....even when I am sleeping.... Okay during sex I have been know to uh never mind...OK I am boring....So don't talk to me

Okay, a few passing thoughts that I had today....What skills do you have to avoid being man handled if you were in prison.... Now what I am saying is what could you do to bribe bubba from taking away your man flower......Just a thought to reflect upon but it brings up a valuable point

DO YOU HAVE SKILLS?

I could fix his knee if it hurt....Maybe talk about his feelings of anger at his parents.

Any how

like I said I am getting to be a boring guy without to much to say....I will go home an watch CNN that should piss me off enough.....

bob