Back underwater again.

We shall see how much punishment can come from one mistake. We shall see. I want all the harm available. At least you can count on things being the worse that they can. For all you folks who thing being negative is bad GOOD FOR YOU. I am a realist not a negativist. I am more positive on my worst day than most people I know. I just am not in the mood for eating more shit. I am thinking what do I need to do the adapt to this problem. I had a breakthrough thought. My biggest problem, other than the other problems, are my health issues. Maybe I should deal with them and turn them into strengths. I could do it. I can do anything I set my mind to I just don't want to but I may halve to. I may loose all the weight and strengthen my arm so I am strong again out of sheer necessity. Today will be my true day one for those goals. Through strength and discipline I will recover whatever this life delivers me. I tell you one thing however, I am getting tired