Send the Kids outside. It is finally safe

The king is gone and he was forgotten. Who really is going to care that Michael Jackson died other than the people whom he owes money to. I mean that guy should of had his head beaten in with hammers a long time ago. Now I was not on the jury but there seems to me more than enough evidence that proved his guilt than you or I would have had the benefit of. Not to mention would not have done in the first place. Brings back bad memories. An ex sister in law once made comment to the effect that I was inappropriate at one point with my nephews. Lets just say I have never forgiven nor forgotten the gesture. She has allot of mental problems so lets just leave it at that. But Hammer and Heads did cross my mind. They are all over 18 years old now so it wont be illegal if we fornicate in anyway so I guessI have the green light if I wanted it. I think that I will continue with my normal loving relationships that I have with them. But thanks for the suggestion. Brings up allot of pain for allot of people sexual abuse. I am glad to say that I have only abused myself sexually. I can not get anyone else to use it let alone abuse it. A sickness I believe it to be but a mental illness that has such grievous consequences on the health and happiness of other is horrible to say the least. My sympathies for those whom have suffered from it. Like I said I have enough problems with my sex life with out that stuff swirling around in my head. Life is hard enough if you are normal and well adjusted. Now those who know me would not describe me as normal and well adjusted but I am as best as I can tell.

Enough heavy thoughts here are my random thoughts that I have had recently.

1. If you are gay does that qualify you for disability.
2. If everyone in the world was as smart as I am then I would not have an advantage
3. A boring baseball game is a redundant term
4. We have wedding pictures what about professional pictures of the wedding night. come on it will be the best you both look and at least once in your life you both are interested.
5. Why is the term This Blows refer to things that are not good. I tend to like things that blow and would reffer to them in a positive way.
6. In Poker I love the term ALL IN. When I say that during sex I don't get the same ohs and ahs the I get at the poker table. It just is not as special. Definitely not worth advertising.
7. Why are people interested in genealogy. My family tree needs to be pruned or just returned for a new one. It did not take. Look your ancestors where whores, everyone one of them. That's how you got here so be grateful.
8. I hate it when people say "If God wanted you to have this he would have gave them to you." as if you are that good of an authority. Look just say your opinion. Calling God stupid does not make you right asshole.
9. Nerds seem to age better than other people. They look the same all their life. The get older but not worse looking. Maybe because they never looked good in the first place. Conan O'Brien looks the same and would say he looks like a nerd. I think that I have always been a nerd. Just a nerd that would punch you in the face.

Way to upset for way too littleo

Things are a little upsetting here at Bob Land. Not the bliss that it should be. Overall my life is good. Happily married, successful at business, many friends and family is good. So why am I upset. Well I am going to go crazy playing in my band. The politics and general band division is starting to take me down. Now I am committed to changing my attitude about the whole thing and just enjoy it for what it is and not hope for what it wont be. Basically it wont be good. We are at best fair. It does upset me because I am a decent musician who practices daily and is furthing my talent with dutiful study. But further than that I bring it. I have the Balls to back it up and have the confidence to play with players who are better than me. I need to be more challenged. I need others who can push me the way I can push them. I need to develop my own playing further and am actively doing that. We shall see what happens but the big picture looks fairly boring. It has been most boring. I am fed up the negative feelings and playing. I just want to have fun with it and in many ways it just isn't that much fun a anymore. Its a chore. A mediocre chore at best. I would like to speak with them about it but what can they do. Play at my level, Play with confidence and purpose. I don't think that they will understand my perspective anyway. Either way, I am way too upset for a fucking hobby. So part of my solution will be to take the whole thing a lot less serious and to pursue my betterment as a musician as I have.

Okay that is pretty laim, but it is easy to get emotional about such things. Anger and frustration is easy to achieve when you deal with groups. To some degree I don't think that this problem is unique to my group but an inherent part of any group thing. That is why I love classical music. As it is in my sex life I am the only one to decide how to play. No other party there to screw up what I want to do. I am solely responsible for all of it. It does appeal to me, it always has.

anyway, enough crying about my band. Maybe, I will try to fix the flaws that I see and not break it further. We shall see.

BOB

It is a brand new day.

Okay, Another Monday. Big deal right. Well we all have a chance to hate our lives next Monday also. I have been giving my Buick some thought. &Most people try to be younger and buy cars that are younger looking and such. They feel that there image is so important that they should drive a car and dress a certain way to express that they are attractive, fertile, or sophisticated. I don't seem to car about stuff like that. If you know me then you know that I am attractive, fertile and sophisticated. Okay at best I am sophisticated. Maybe even attractive if you are drunk or just very lonely. Now fertile has yet to be proven. Okay, I am not any of those things but at least I am not pretending by driving or dressing the part. They say act as if. I say act like an ass. I did buy some really nice speakers today. A set of B&W, I think that I am going to back and pick up the other two for my home theater system that I do not have yet. Damn though as I listen to them now if I am a snob about anything it is guitars, amps and speakers. Now that stuff I will spend some money on. And I can enjoy them everyday And I think that they make me better person, if not at least a better musician. Now that is going well enough but I am starting to slack off a bit and you cant do that with classical guitar. 1 hour everyday has to happen for me. That would work but that is not as easy as it sounds. Now I can surf for porn for 18 hours a day. I can even dig holes for hours but reading music is harder than that for some reason. Anyhow, I can and will do it. It is my passion and pursuit.

Now on a new topic of honesty in our lives. I do try to be honest most of the time. I think that I am one of the more honest people that I know. Not only honest but pursuit of better things for all involved. I guess if I was more honest I would tell the truth to people when they annoy me or when I find objection. I just don't find much benefit in that. Maybe more than honesty I have started to say and think kinder things about others more often. Why not just say what is on your mind if it is kind. Most people don't because it may be inferred as manipulative. I see as who else is going to tell you anything nice or kind because you suck anyway.

I think that we should shrink our lives down by a factor of 100 and all our problems would be resolved. We are just too damn big for our own good. Big Bigger Biggest. It is the wrong direction. If we we the size of ants we would not have near the problems. How much property tax would there be on my little ant house. But then we would have tinny little dicks and that would not work so forget it. I think that midgets would survive the Apocalypse as they are more fit for survival.

A certain friend of mine keeps on having anal sex with his girlfriend. He calls me up and says Pooh Bear. I say what? Like I should know the code words for the sexual deviants. If I was a pitcher (I prefer to catch) I would only have maybe two good pitches. I don't have any fancy moves. Just the straight ahead style that has create millions of Irish underachievers. Now my friend has the sacred handbook and takes things to levels that people should not be on. I don't think that wild animals would do those things out of respect for the natural order of things. I think that he wants to go to prison as a sort of freaky vacation. Oh well, He just should not tell anybody. I cant wait to meet her and wonder how she was violated, Then ask her if she has any friends.

That is enough for today. If I have not said anything nice to lately. I have not thought of it and I probably don't like you much.

bob