Things are a little upsetting here at Bob Land. Not the bliss that it should be. Overall my life is good. Happily married, successful at business, many friends and family is good. So why am I upset. Well I am going to go crazy playing in my band. The politics and general band division is starting to take me down. Now I am committed to changing my attitude about the whole thing and just enjoy it for what it is and not hope for what it wont be. Basically it wont be good. We are at best fair. It does upset me because I am a decent musician who practices daily and is furthing my talent with dutiful study. But further than that I bring it. I have the Balls to back it up and have the confidence to play with players who are better than me. I need to be more challenged. I need others who can push me the way I can push them. I need to develop my own playing further and am actively doing that. We shall see what happens but the big picture looks fairly boring. It has been most boring. I am fed up the negative feelings and playing. I just want to have fun with it and in many ways it just isn't that much fun a anymore. Its a chore. A mediocre chore at best. I would like to speak with them about it but what can they do. Play at my level, Play with confidence and purpose. I don't think that they will understand my perspective anyway. Either way, I am way too upset for a fucking hobby. So part of my solution will be to take the whole thing a lot less serious and to pursue my betterment as a musician as I have.
Okay that is pretty laim, but it is easy to get emotional about such things. Anger and frustration is easy to achieve when you deal with groups. To some degree I don't think that this problem is unique to my group but an inherent part of any group thing. That is why I love classical music. As it is in my sex life I am the only one to decide how to play. No other party there to screw up what I want to do. I am solely responsible for all of it. It does appeal to me, it always has.
anyway, enough crying about my band. Maybe, I will try to fix the flaws that I see and not break it further. We shall see.
BOB
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1 comment:
Aww... poor bobby boo!
Quit the hacks and move on with your solo project! "Bob alone - a one man jam band". Spend a couple benji's and hire some studio talent to fill the sound and your off. For fucks sake! There has to be some prodigies around Chicago? Get off you ass and do it. I've heard the band and it's time... move on!
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