Maybe I should just keep my thoughts to myself.

It seems that the world is not ready for BOB. They are definitely not ready for a BOB that is in distress. He has way too many hard edges on him. I am usually soft and kind but that is not all the time. Sometimes when I could use help I act out like so many people I see. But they don't know how to help when I do. I am not generally the guy who wants or needs help anyway. It is just not my role. Lately, however, I could use some. Lets face it the world only wants to deal with you when you are available for their needs. I am a smart enough guy but have yet to learn how to manipulate people to take care of me when I complain. I can hardly find the energy after listening to people complain all day to complain to others. It just is not me. Now for the future. It is hard to see how it will all play out. I may make some real big moves. The hope is for less overall suffering. Sometimes our attitudes and skills are not enough to control our destiny. Some factors are bigger than that. I wish that I could just toughen up and fix all my problems with shear ball power. This time it just does not seem like it would be good enough and may likely prolong my suffering.
I thought that I had a stressful life before all this trouble but I think it was easy in comparison. I know now how people feel when they have larger pressures. I am glad that I will be able to work through them. I know of many people who do not have the skills and opportunities that I will have to recover.
I know that my best play is to toughen up and not complain as people just don't care and if they did they don't know how to help. I am finding it hard to behave as strong as I want to. Not that I am far off of the mark but far enough off that I am not impressed but I am only human.
So hopefully, I will pull it together. The longer I am married the more I love my wife so at least at that I am successful. I better not be to complacent as I can screw that up too.
We all have peaks and valleys. This period is a valley for sure. I have to keep optimistic and value the friends that I do confide in as they are strong enough not to let me complain as it is not me. For that I am grateful. Why do I attract such hardened people. There are no softies in my world yet I am as soft as they come.
Oh well, To the future with glee and excitement. Happiness is in the eyes of the beholder.
To start over at this age scares me to death. I am having a hard time cumming up with a better decision considering the trends that I observe. I wish that I was wrong but it just does not happen often.
Anyway, I don't think that this post will enlighten or help anyone and for once in my life I could give a shit. I am not here, at least today, to impress you. Because for right now I just don't need to bleed anymore. Saving it for me.
I also have learned that I just argue too much with people. My life would be far easier to just agree all the time with the people I encounter. Why people debate me when I know more than them about things that I know better just does not make sense. People constantly do it to gain territory over you. I want to kick there asses. Why argue with me in the first place. I am glad that I do not have as many bad person habits that I observe in most people. Now I am half crazy if not more than half but I am not going to argue about the price I pay for something or call someone stupid enough times to get them to help me. A friend of mine owns a pawn shop and people constantly argue that what he sells is not worth the price that he sells and that he does not know what he is doing. He just kicks them out of his store. Say you don't want to pay for it but insulting him will not cause him to lower his prices. It just seems like a bad strategy. Now in my experiences the same questions always come up. Why are people so predictable and stupid at the same time. Oh well, it is just me being negative again and the world does not care so I will end this post for the day. Just as I was closing out the best guitarist ever came on the radio. Link Wray rules the world of guitar bob. Nobody know who that is and it is shame the the greatest was not known. If feel better now that I heard the great one. It reminds me that in many ways I am the great one. Do you know how you are great. (see I am always helping people even when sad you feel good and cant even do it)
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