Some interesting re connections over the past few weeks via the wonders of facebook. It has been great to reconnect with people that you loved from the past. Funny thing is we tend to forget how much we really loved them, and how important we are to so many people. It brings pride to me to still after twenty plus years still to be known and how much it can effect you to be a building block in others lives. I hope that I was as good to them as I could be and knowing myself I was. But knowing me I wish that I could have done more for them. When I was younger I was a shy guy. What happened to that guy? Truth be told I am still shy and withholding. It just wont stop me anymore.
It does bring to my conscious just how important we are to so many people. I have been blessed in a sense of having a life where that burden has been met with joy and I hope friendship for others. I tend to tolerate almost anything someone could throw at me but I now realize where that came from. It is from my crazy family. They have trained me to drink my own piss if I had to . No torment was off the charts. No subtle of decorum in our gatherings. But it was never boring and I must give thanks and praise to what it is to be Irish, guilt ridden and ready to defend our wrong actions with fervor.
We were truly a force of nature. It feels good to be battle tested years before the battle.
It has its drawbacks to an extent. The most people that I run into could not survive in my family. We would consume your life. There was no individual rights in our house. What was yours is mine because that is the way it is. I still cannot buy a shirt that looks good in fear someone else might like it an wear it first.
I do sometimes run people over with my overpowering personality but in my family growing things over time and consideration just did not make sense to us. It was what it is. Like it or not. We don't mince words or lead people on. We are as we appear. CRAZY
I think that I will work a little harder at being a better friend to those who accept my infectious disease. Knowing me or my brothers is lifelong illness. Like herpes or hepatitis
Moreover a sincere thanks to those in my past who saw things in me to keep in their hearts.
PS
I did quite coffee and most forms of caffiene 2.5 weeks ago. Now I am sniffing paint thinner.
Caffiene is a pretty strong addiction if you drink as much coffee as I did. I dont feel any better for it and am wondering why the hell I gave it up.... I thought that it may make me a healthier person but I am not convienced. Exercise and a good balance diet theory just wont happen. Oh well, I am not going back to it as I dont like climing mountains twice.
bob
PSS
this will be the last gay bob blog of 2009.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Well, I can't help but think that I've inspired part of this "gay" blog, ha ha. Kidding, or am I?
Facebook has made me think the exact things that you mention...about how your past has informed who you are now, but with FB it all becomes a little clearer b/c it forces you to confront all the "little traumas", as well as good things from when you were young.
I personally am I better and stronger person for having practically grown up with your family. And if you want to talk crazy, well, you know my family as well. It builds character, at least that's what I tell myself.
You rock.
Post a Comment