My Jaw Hurts.

My jaw hurts from sucking too much cock. If it is all the same to you I wont complain anymore than that. I am almost out of complaints. What could you do for me anyway. We pay and get nothing, we ask and get nothing, we smile and get nothing, I tell you what is bizarre to me it is the bullshit etiquette that we dole out when we do any commerce. I hate a thank you when we don't mean it. "Is there anything else we can do for you today?" Other than sucking my balls I wish you would jump in front of a train. I just complained how you fucked me over for the past twenty minutes and you ask me that. I don't get it. It is false and disingenuous and that is where we are as a culture. We really don't care about anyone or anything other that what is on TV and what my facebook says. I cry and complain but I probably really am not doing too bad. I hope that you are doing worse so that you can make me feel guilty. I got news for everyone, I will not feel guilty anymore or at least I will try. I am most likely kinder and more thoughtful than you. If I piss you off then good, I was trying. I am good at anything I try to do. My Mommy told me so. I hope that I get out of this laim ass funk sometime soon but I don't think I will. As long as I have to live this gay ass life pleasing other people I will be doomed. Doomed to pretend. As long as we all agree to pretend then it should all be okay. It is a good thing that I do not have an alcohol or drug problem but I am about as fat as a sheep before slaughter. I would be better off being stoned and drunk, at least those abuses have some entertainment value. I will go back to my life of smiles and cares and pretend to be strong. At least I do not have to pretend to be in love or care for people like so many people seem to be. Do say thank you to me and push me in the same sentence. I am pleased to know that I have family and friends who do care. It is genuinely difficult to behave as good as you want to. I always know the best way but sometimes I cant seem to stop the momentum. Maybe today is my day one for what I need to do....... I am going to go home and practice my guitar and enjoy the sounds it makes. I will improve my art and fill my cup......When someone fucks you over it would be nice to get a sorry out of it.... I think that I will fix all those that I have left on my mind ASAP. Believe me it is a short list. It is just not my nature.