Merry Christmas to all you Devil Worshipers

Merry Christmas to all.

Unfortunately for me I usually feel lonely on Christmas and other holidays as I tend to feel lonely on most days.  It just goes with the territory.  It's not that I have love in my life it just seems to be getting smaller with out feeling getting much better.  I think that it just part of ageing.  You would think that people get better at loving the older they get but that is not what I generally observe.  Most people use love and affection to maintain control over other people.  They will love you as long as you serve them and their needs, any resistance and they will shun you away.  The older someone gets the less reactive they will be once they feel shunned.  Pride is more important that being in the group or pairing or moreover the longer you live the more you understand about human nature that you feel less enthused to participate in the back and forth play.   You tend to just stop.  Problem is that you never seem to get back to where it once was.  But that is most relationships.  There are peaks then they plateau.   In your mind however, you hold on to the peaks.  I think that children have fantasy that feels like reality and older mature people expect reality to be a fantasy.  We never let go or outgrow the fantasy.  What we expect it to be is how we think things are.  Anyone who is honest with themselves should not trust their expectations to be met as often as we would desire them to be.  I do think that we should just let people be who they are and accept them for their views and not expect them to do the same in return as there is nothing more rare than an accepting person. 

I do think of all of my friends that I have had over my lifetime that I could trust and pass on me because of my ways.   Many of them I still talk to, some of them only in my mind.   I do regret those friends that have turned away righteously due to my manor most of all, usually my workaholic tendencies. 

There are no real misunderstandings in friendships.  There are often misalignment of values and misplaying of assumed roles.   This is what amazes adults about children is there willingness to be friends and the importance they can put on it.