Your problems are easy for me to help, because they are yours.

Sometime my heart bleed so much for other that I drown in my own words. I have, or at least I believe, a very keen assessment ability to evaluate people and their situations. There struggles and strife. I am likely too good at and I admit pontificate too long. But it much more than what you do for me. What do I get for wisdom and maybe advise. Most people say that I would not listen anyway but that is not true. I will not act like I am listening. I am always listening. I agree that advice giving and receiving is a dangerous game. I tend to be blunt and repetitive. But seldom wrong or cruel. I truly want people to better their situations and move forward with what they have to move forward through. It is much harder counseling yourself through your own problem. Why is that people are so apprehensive about giving advice? If you care for someone you should advise them of your view of their situation as long as it is not too personal. I would not give sexual advise to a friend or a relative. It just is not appropriate and likely they are better at it than me anyway. I try to be encouraging but often I likely just present challenges that are likely too big to be undertaken. That is why that have not done them yet in the first place. It is the general nature of advise giving. Easy to figure out what to do, near impossible to actually do it. Not to mention motivation. Now I am not going to write some self help book because I hate that shit. I do prefer people who shoot it straight, are not mean spirited and are usually correct. Advise is horrid because it is stuff we already know and the advise given is a frustrating form of punishment for not doing what they should have done already. I am going to start to act completely surprised next time someone gives me advise because I don't want them to think that I was too stupid not to do what I should have done already. That means I am lazy or something like that. We just want to see our friends make progress through their lives within our lifetime. We don't mind you having problems all the time as long as they are new problems.

As for me I am tough and would not want your help anyway. Very few ever help me where I am always helping others. It is just a way to keep people away from my needy core. Those that do help me are invaluable to me. The highest esteem for me is to accept help from you. Call it pride I guess but help is often turned into abuse or at least debt and for that reason alone I don't want it. If you give to me with no expectation back I would gladly accept but who is stupid enough to do that other than me. Life is a gift, our duty is to give.. Receiving is a part of giving that I have not been to good with. If someone give you something, anything, they want something from you. At best they want you to be comfortable, which I freely give. They may want your friendship which is always an awkward situation. I really like generous people and am comfortable around them as that is my nature as well. It is those people pretending to be generous when they are truly manipulative annoy the piss out of people. I wish that nice people would act like nice people and assholes would act like assholes not to confuse the rest of us.

In totality, I have always had a lot of friends and I felt they were close friends. It takes up a lot of my time and believe me if I am with you I care greatly for you otherwise I would not be there. I do not need your approval or comradery. I need you for reasons I do not even understand. Funny how those things I just accept and not analyze.

BOB