Today's Topic Broken down dogs

Dogs dont always run like a honda civic. Sometimes they go bad and need a little repair or just be it time to heal from what ever the hell it was that was bugging them in the first place. I cant tell from the dog much more than that if this dog dont get better soon it may just well ..... I would rather not say.

It is sad when your dog is sick. But I do think that it is weird when people ask you how your dog is doing. Hello Bob, (I dont have kids) How are your dogs doing? They are fine, Dusty still is capable of self gratification and Milly has no memory of any of the night that we had in vegas.......They are just my dogs. I love them and hold them and pet them but I am not going to send anybodies love to them. Hey Bob, tell Milly I said hello, hey give Dusty 20 bucks for gratuation of obidience school we are all so proud of him.

I know that it is just a kind jesture but I do find it odd.

I was petting my dog today and wondered if there is any work available in dog petting. I wont feed them or poop them but by golly I will pet them for hours for a nominal fee. Also, they make their own coats. They dont have to shop for a jacket. they Just grow one. That is cool. I have met a few people that have the same potential but they are not as popular as you would expect.

Other than that Not much to report. I will do my service and kill two turkeys to help reduce the wild turkey outbreak that they have here in Illinois. Turkeys have been overrunning our forests and without our help will bread endlessly causing horrible diseases and infecting the human population with diseases that can rot a brain in under 48 hours which will always be misdiagnosed. We must band together as a nation and kill and consume as much turkey that we can. I am going to start a movement to rid this world of turkey. Lets the mass execution begin on this thursday and hopefully we will rid our land from those dangerous creatures.

What do live turkeys even smell like. I smelt some chickens before at the county fair and it did not make me hungry. Turkeys are probably worse.

Any how have a good thanksgiving

Oh what to talk about.

Today is Sunday. Just changed the clocks back. My wife lied to me about the time it was. She is a tiny little liar. How dare she be so decieving. This brings up the trust issues agian. Hey wait I am a guy and guys dont have imaginary problems.

I can tell you one thing the male mind is mostly a simple place. There are about three things at most that I can keep track of at once. Usually it is amps, cars and guitars. Why dont women run countries or airlines and hospitals. They seem to handle much more at once. And they are not distracted by simple impulsive purchases on ebay. Just my view. And if we can have a woman president we can blame the bitch when it goes bad. We call Bush names but we cant call him our bitch. Either way I am going to buy all my products from china while I still can. We better do it before china runs out of oil to make the crappy circuit boards.

I wonder if pace makers are made in china. Maybe we will have a chinese woman as president of the United States. To bring up another offensive topic. Why is it that people that dont vote or pay alot of taxes seem to complain the most about immigration issues.

Politics, religion, finances, and sex topics are still taboo in this country. I dont have trouble talking about them. I dont not require that you agree with me. It is just casual converstation. I dont have a big panic button that alot of people have.

My wife just admitted that she lied to me to get me out of bed. I cannot rely on anyone to be truthful and honest. Why should I continue with the rest of the day knowing that the world is one big lie.

I wonder how often I lie.

I think that it is less than what most people do. I don't even fake all that much. People with perfect social grace annoy me and are boring. I like people who are on the edge of dispair at least one a season. Christmas is a good time for a breakdown. Thanksgiving has more food so people tend not to freak out. Who can freak out after that much turkey. Is their Prozac in turkey. It has some protein in it that makes me fart more than sleep but I handle proteins differently than most people. People call me after they eat the next day. Excuse the topic. Hey Bob I s%^t all day after I ate at your house. I reply oh I am so sorry no one else was sick, I feel OK. They reply that I was not sick I just had to s%#t all day. Oh, I said.

Well that is enough. I am going to pretend that football is important so that I can sit on my ass for the next 12 hours undisturbed and pretend to get upset when my team loses. Am I lying


BOB

OK So I blogged twice in one month. Will I go blind?

How often and where I blog is what I would refer to as my personal business and not up for public discussion or display. It is a personal matter of great sensitivity. Blogging is cool if I thought someone other than my mother would read it. She still thinks that I am good at baseball When I stand up straight I can hardly see my feet let alone hit a change up. But my Mom is probably my biggest fan. It has been many years since I puked in her house or stole change from her piggy bank. I guess I owe everything to her. Most of my good traits that are of social value come from her like Patience for others, creativity, generosity, etc etc. But my pension for vulgar outbreaks and the ever present potential for violence probably comes from my dad, god rest his soul. Although he taught me a lot of valuable things as well. like don't leave the garage door open if you like to breath air and not to lend objects that don't belong to you at great personal pain and embarrassment. My father is gone from this earth but remains in my mind and heart. I speak with him everyday and remember how much enjoyed each others company. I do believe that the best gift you can give some one is enjoyment. Honor thy mother and father is a value that seems harder to come by. I never had trouble with the application of that principle even when I did not agree with it. It has served me well.

Now it would be nice if someone other than my mother would read it. This blog is not dirty underwear that I hid under my bed. I do not get why I blog. Sure it is fun to let my mind go on topics that occur to me( you could probably tell that I do not do a lot of planning first) but for who's benefit? We shall see but my feeling is that I am not saving a lot of trees with this blog especially.

But For What it is Worth I miss you Dad and carry you everywhere I go Even my blog

Self help for the slow learner

It is hard to learn when you are more stubborn than smart. I think that I have both features. I had another birthday and I feel it. I don't mind the aches and pains if you are getting wiser but that is where I have the problems.

My dogs don't need to read self help books. The plants outside need just water to live. Why would I be any different. I need only to eat drink pee and poop to make it through the day. Some days I think those events are my greatest accomplishments. For all I make I brake. But with all of the problems in the world we have Oprah Winfrey to help us out. She is so inspirational. I wish that I could fake caring about the retards that I encounter with the ease and grace. I actually have to care to express it. I think that she should have at least one show that I would approve of with a topic of lets say how to tap a keg or stop a drunken maniac using Stalin like tactics. Something like how to throw the perfect spiral football or how to kill your neighbor's cat without any one knowing. (I have no ill will against cats, it would just be interesting TV). But best of all how to get women to approve purchases that make my man parts seem bigger, like a convertible Mercedes or something. Men need help with mid life crisis. We put up with your PMS stuff no questions asked. We would like the same level of consideration.

All things considered life is good. I can eat, drink, pee and pooh with only minor difficulty so I will hold on believing in the dream

Best of luck to those who lower their own expectations in their lives by listening to my assertions.

bob

I must blog no matter what

It is time to blog again. The problem is that I only want to share the happy go lucky or funny bob. Well I guess that he in not always available and maybe a glimpse to the other side(s) may have to do.

Interesting things of note. I saw a man die yesterday at Sam's club. Dropped dead of a heart attack. I did not see him fall but laid out on the floor with two people performing CPR. I would of liked to do it but they got there first and it has been ten years since my CPR training. Note to world take CPR course yearly. Now shopping for clothes that fit a fat guy like myself was not as much fun after that. The world goes on, shopping continued. I was truly saddened and felt like crying a bit. I never saw that before. I hope that I don't have to learn that way to loose some weight. What the hell, when I get back from my cruise I will loose all the weight that I gained on my cruise I promise.

I look forward to this vacation and rest from my responsibilities and obligations. However, it may not be enough to change the course. What is enough to change the course for ones life. Whom do we have that steers us towards a better way. I am blessed with those whom I rely upon and who can rely upon me. But are we all retarded? I hate to admit but my simple search for guitar tone and feel is a search for truth in some way. Am I giving my art enough of my time and intellect to grow. I guess or propose that things in our lives are in a cycle of growth or decay, acceptance or denial. Why are some people so far ahead and others so far behind? Where are we (myself and my family and friends) in all of this.

Oh well, humor does help it all.

bob

Liquid Bob

A moment of tempary reflection

A life that is not reflected upon is not worth living. And that is why I own around ten guitars and ten guitar amps. I have what someone may call amp fever. But when you play a certain guitar and amp and say yeah that sounds great and it truly is an unique vibe to it and it is a good vibe not like eating sushi at a buffet which is not a cool way to go when you are in the mood for sushi. I do like sushi if the people I am with A, have some money because I ain't paying hundreds of dollars on that stuff and B, really enjoy eating it. I think that eating raw fish is the ultimate old school expression. It goes back to before we discovered fire....Now that is a vintage approach.

I noticed that to money cant buy happiness but it can buy guitar amps and that is good enough for me.

I am a very lazy mother blogger

I am sorry that I have not blogged on my blog. It is not easy being the only bob in my life that loves me. I need some bob time. Or maybe a bob talk.

Anyhow, I am all the bob I have right now and it will have to do.

One thing I learned is that it may be funny to make fun of someone when they are in the bathroom taking care of some off shore land filling but it is not polite. Do only with those that can take constructive criticism without holding a grudge. I have discovered the appropriate counter attack if someone ever does that to you is to leave a friendly reminder of the initial joke.

any how that is all for today's blog


bob

The Highlight of Bob's Day

Hello, This is a message to the bob from bob. How to do all this crazy ass computer blog stuff when it already past my bedtime.

My f*&^%^&^ dogs have not been pooped in hours as I enjoy my freedom away from them. When I get home they will think that I have been thinking of them the whole time that I was away. My Blog should be a source of imaginary bull^%$# mixed in with some good human interest topics. I have alot to offer is someone is willing to feed me and maybe not curse at me like my parents did.

That is enought for my first blog. I feel that I blew my blog load early but I do that.


bye

thebob