Happy Fourth of July

Not much new with me. Just relaxing in the heat of the day. Washed and waxed my old man car. It looks nicer but who is going to notice a Buick century. It would be like me shaving my balls. Sure it looks better but who would notice. Let alone care. Maybe, I am just not a flashy guy. I had a talk with my wife yesterday and she is convinced that I could not get laid at will when I was younger. All because I didn't does not mean that I couldn't. I am sure that I had more opportunity than I exercised. I don't have any regrets anyway but more may have been better. Either way I don't have any illegitimate children or a dreadful rash that would infect my hands that would infect you because I am a hugger. I showed her later my dance moves and man strut. She is even more convinced that she was right. Now in my history I was never the guy to follow if you wanted to score the chicks so maybe I will concede the truth. Who else would ask a hot waitress at a bar if they have a break room or better yet a dental plan. Oh well, If I get another chance at the world I would most likely do it all again the same anyway. I make a poor wing man. I am not interested in entertaining women on their terms. Either you enjoy my humor and company or you don't. Women tend to don't as you may have noticed I tend to say things that are on the boarder line of bad taste. I think that I am funny often, and most definitely more often than you. Now I have some women friends but I do not scale it down all that much. If they like it I like them. If they say you shouldn't say that. I say SCREW YOU. at least in my head. I generally avoid them after that. Why do you deserve special treatment from me when I require none of it from you. As I have gotten older I have become more acceptable in general but I am usually irritated by those who require special consideration. I have an option for you. Just don't be my friend. I will OK with that.
I definitely have a male personality or at least sense of humor. The women I have run into over the course of my life tend to fake more often. I may be allot of things but fake is not one of them. If I have to behave in an unorthodox way just to be in your company why bother. However, if I trust and admire you I would gladly behave in anyway that pleases you. There are many people in my life, my in laws and others, that I freely engage the good BOB for. People wonder how I do it. It is the same BOB just a different approach. The key to it all is that I like or love them therefore I want to be pleasant for them. SO if you find me rude and crude A. you do get my humor because you are such a tight ass and or B I just don't care. You pick.

Send the Kids outside. It is finally safe

The king is gone and he was forgotten. Who really is going to care that Michael Jackson died other than the people whom he owes money to. I mean that guy should of had his head beaten in with hammers a long time ago. Now I was not on the jury but there seems to me more than enough evidence that proved his guilt than you or I would have had the benefit of. Not to mention would not have done in the first place. Brings back bad memories. An ex sister in law once made comment to the effect that I was inappropriate at one point with my nephews. Lets just say I have never forgiven nor forgotten the gesture. She has allot of mental problems so lets just leave it at that. But Hammer and Heads did cross my mind. They are all over 18 years old now so it wont be illegal if we fornicate in anyway so I guessI have the green light if I wanted it. I think that I will continue with my normal loving relationships that I have with them. But thanks for the suggestion. Brings up allot of pain for allot of people sexual abuse. I am glad to say that I have only abused myself sexually. I can not get anyone else to use it let alone abuse it. A sickness I believe it to be but a mental illness that has such grievous consequences on the health and happiness of other is horrible to say the least. My sympathies for those whom have suffered from it. Like I said I have enough problems with my sex life with out that stuff swirling around in my head. Life is hard enough if you are normal and well adjusted. Now those who know me would not describe me as normal and well adjusted but I am as best as I can tell.

Enough heavy thoughts here are my random thoughts that I have had recently.

1. If you are gay does that qualify you for disability.
2. If everyone in the world was as smart as I am then I would not have an advantage
3. A boring baseball game is a redundant term
4. We have wedding pictures what about professional pictures of the wedding night. come on it will be the best you both look and at least once in your life you both are interested.
5. Why is the term This Blows refer to things that are not good. I tend to like things that blow and would reffer to them in a positive way.
6. In Poker I love the term ALL IN. When I say that during sex I don't get the same ohs and ahs the I get at the poker table. It just is not as special. Definitely not worth advertising.
7. Why are people interested in genealogy. My family tree needs to be pruned or just returned for a new one. It did not take. Look your ancestors where whores, everyone one of them. That's how you got here so be grateful.
8. I hate it when people say "If God wanted you to have this he would have gave them to you." as if you are that good of an authority. Look just say your opinion. Calling God stupid does not make you right asshole.
9. Nerds seem to age better than other people. They look the same all their life. The get older but not worse looking. Maybe because they never looked good in the first place. Conan O'Brien looks the same and would say he looks like a nerd. I think that I have always been a nerd. Just a nerd that would punch you in the face.

Way to upset for way too littleo

Things are a little upsetting here at Bob Land. Not the bliss that it should be. Overall my life is good. Happily married, successful at business, many friends and family is good. So why am I upset. Well I am going to go crazy playing in my band. The politics and general band division is starting to take me down. Now I am committed to changing my attitude about the whole thing and just enjoy it for what it is and not hope for what it wont be. Basically it wont be good. We are at best fair. It does upset me because I am a decent musician who practices daily and is furthing my talent with dutiful study. But further than that I bring it. I have the Balls to back it up and have the confidence to play with players who are better than me. I need to be more challenged. I need others who can push me the way I can push them. I need to develop my own playing further and am actively doing that. We shall see what happens but the big picture looks fairly boring. It has been most boring. I am fed up the negative feelings and playing. I just want to have fun with it and in many ways it just isn't that much fun a anymore. Its a chore. A mediocre chore at best. I would like to speak with them about it but what can they do. Play at my level, Play with confidence and purpose. I don't think that they will understand my perspective anyway. Either way, I am way too upset for a fucking hobby. So part of my solution will be to take the whole thing a lot less serious and to pursue my betterment as a musician as I have.

Okay that is pretty laim, but it is easy to get emotional about such things. Anger and frustration is easy to achieve when you deal with groups. To some degree I don't think that this problem is unique to my group but an inherent part of any group thing. That is why I love classical music. As it is in my sex life I am the only one to decide how to play. No other party there to screw up what I want to do. I am solely responsible for all of it. It does appeal to me, it always has.

anyway, enough crying about my band. Maybe, I will try to fix the flaws that I see and not break it further. We shall see.

BOB

It is a brand new day.

Okay, Another Monday. Big deal right. Well we all have a chance to hate our lives next Monday also. I have been giving my Buick some thought. &Most people try to be younger and buy cars that are younger looking and such. They feel that there image is so important that they should drive a car and dress a certain way to express that they are attractive, fertile, or sophisticated. I don't seem to car about stuff like that. If you know me then you know that I am attractive, fertile and sophisticated. Okay at best I am sophisticated. Maybe even attractive if you are drunk or just very lonely. Now fertile has yet to be proven. Okay, I am not any of those things but at least I am not pretending by driving or dressing the part. They say act as if. I say act like an ass. I did buy some really nice speakers today. A set of B&W, I think that I am going to back and pick up the other two for my home theater system that I do not have yet. Damn though as I listen to them now if I am a snob about anything it is guitars, amps and speakers. Now that stuff I will spend some money on. And I can enjoy them everyday And I think that they make me better person, if not at least a better musician. Now that is going well enough but I am starting to slack off a bit and you cant do that with classical guitar. 1 hour everyday has to happen for me. That would work but that is not as easy as it sounds. Now I can surf for porn for 18 hours a day. I can even dig holes for hours but reading music is harder than that for some reason. Anyhow, I can and will do it. It is my passion and pursuit.

Now on a new topic of honesty in our lives. I do try to be honest most of the time. I think that I am one of the more honest people that I know. Not only honest but pursuit of better things for all involved. I guess if I was more honest I would tell the truth to people when they annoy me or when I find objection. I just don't find much benefit in that. Maybe more than honesty I have started to say and think kinder things about others more often. Why not just say what is on your mind if it is kind. Most people don't because it may be inferred as manipulative. I see as who else is going to tell you anything nice or kind because you suck anyway.

I think that we should shrink our lives down by a factor of 100 and all our problems would be resolved. We are just too damn big for our own good. Big Bigger Biggest. It is the wrong direction. If we we the size of ants we would not have near the problems. How much property tax would there be on my little ant house. But then we would have tinny little dicks and that would not work so forget it. I think that midgets would survive the Apocalypse as they are more fit for survival.

A certain friend of mine keeps on having anal sex with his girlfriend. He calls me up and says Pooh Bear. I say what? Like I should know the code words for the sexual deviants. If I was a pitcher (I prefer to catch) I would only have maybe two good pitches. I don't have any fancy moves. Just the straight ahead style that has create millions of Irish underachievers. Now my friend has the sacred handbook and takes things to levels that people should not be on. I don't think that wild animals would do those things out of respect for the natural order of things. I think that he wants to go to prison as a sort of freaky vacation. Oh well, He just should not tell anybody. I cant wait to meet her and wonder how she was violated, Then ask her if she has any friends.

That is enough for today. If I have not said anything nice to lately. I have not thought of it and I probably don't like you much.

bob

Jon and Kate plus Bitch

Lets face it, Kate is a bitch on that show and she don't even know it. She thinks that she is okay. She is part socialist, part snob, and part flake all wrapped up in big ass pain in the balls. Now her husbands seems like one hell of a nice guy that just took his and about 20 other peoples hard times and is done with it. I could give a crap about them but if you act or look like Kate you are wrong. It brings out the fact that many of us are way too hard on those people to whom we love. Maybe we should be careful with how much we love each other.

Oh well got to go. Hate to cut this one short but that is all for today

bob

Home Alone

The wife was out of town for the past week. She went to Vegas with my mother. Supposedly she won money. Supposedly she missed me. We shall see when she gets home. The house is in good order and all went smoothly when she was gone. No disasters. Not much happened.

I was bored when she was gone so I ordered the Doctor Mengela home experiment kit. I wanted to see how many days a small dog can go without food and no could answer the question.

We had a good jam last night. trying to blend with the new guitar player. He plays well and that is cool.

Another random thought in conversation with someone who was having trouble with there husband I commented that there is a reason that men can not reproduce with other men. It would result in inbreed retardation.

I think that I got most of the old man smell out of the Buick. It is really a nice driving car. Kind of boring but then again so am I.

Timmy pick up a girl last night and got some action. He is very please. I just hope that he doesn't get any horrible rash from this one like he did last time he got some. Anyway, he is having fun and that is a start.

Just resting up on my Sunday afternoon over a friends house. He cooked me a Delicious meal with a nice cake for dessert. I felt bad that he wife is there while he tries so hard to pursue me. I almost feel guilty. I don't know what kind of magic I have but people love to feed me. It is nice.

My uncle did pass away and although I was not too close with him it is still sad. It brings up allot of inperfections in peoples relationships when a death occurs. It can bring out the worst in people more often than the best. People are way too concerned with what other people are doing. Like it matters anyway. You cant change the events or circumstances that much anyway. Tolerance for others is a big theme of mine. Some people have less tolerance than others. Some people have tolerance problems. I just try to stay out of the way.


That is all for today. The family loss has left me a bit melancholy

bob

What is up with my obsession with the pre dead

OK, it is sad news that my uncle is passing away. He was an okay unlce at best. see him at Christmas and that was about it. He only lived 5 miles away tops but he did not seem to have the patience or interest in kids. My family of five boys was a hand full but wtf we were loving little schmucks. I was going to go down for the funeral out of respect for my mother but she is not even going to attend. So I guess that I am off the hook there. I would have gone but if she is not there who am I going to support. Anyway, it is a strange preoccupation that I have had recently with the near or pre dead. I just bought a gentleman's car who was forced due to his declining capacities to move to a nursing home. The problem was that I had to wait a month for title to come in as he had lost it. The whole time wondering if he is going to make it long enough for me to get the car. It is a 2003 Buick Century with 23000 miles and one bad smell in the interior. Now I don't think that my balls smell that bad yet so my wife should not be running away the way she does. Oh well, that will be another days topic.

Other thoughts, why do we always blame the dogs owners for their problems. Look some dogs are just bad, like kids, even though there parents are good. We had a dog run away and get creamed by a car. People we like you should not own dog if you are not ready for the responsibility and all that crap. Most did not even say, "Sorry to hear that" they went right into blame mode. Hey I did not play Lewis and Clarke and decide to run 5 miles from my house in 22 minutes. I don't like being 5 miles from my refrigerator or toilet if I can avoid it. I don't run into loud shinny moving objects. It would be like me running into a jet plane going down the runway. Why blame me? Anyhow, I did feel bad about it but that dog was bad to begin with. A shelter dog. Why do people get shelter dogs. They suck, I am not dog Freud. Would you want to talk and let in your house a shelter person. They are great if you want your life ruined as well. Sure, I support the mentally handicapped and emotionally disturbed and believe all people deserve a quality of life and a great country takes care of these people, just not in my house. Speaking of that some punk looking kid, probably a 22 year old kid skateboarded up to me as I was walking to my car after the 5th 12 hour work day of the week and asked me if I had a dollar. I looked at him very sternly and said no dude. The level of anger was very good in my voice. My body language said that if he pursued this conversation any further I would knock his ass out. No questions asked. It felt good to know that if approached in the public arena I can still deter if need be. Now, if he came to my office and asked I would not have been as aggressive but in a parking lot. I don't feel that it is a safe place to negotiate so I wont bother with the small talk. Just get the F&*& away from me. I am usually a very meek and calm guy.

Okay, I got distracted. I wish that people would take the same causative approach for the mistakes that they make as they do about pet owners. If I screw up, I screwed up. No sense blaming other people for it. I also don't like creating stories of why people screw up. He did it because he was tired, drunk, depressed, lonely, horny, or whatever. Who cares why you screwed up. That is for you to figure out for yourself. I just don't waste my time with it anymore.

One more thought for the day. I find it odd when a girl speaks of another girl as their girlfriend. I often wonder if that means they are a lesbian. Why do I have to confronted with that dilemma. Maybe it is the ugly girls that say it because at least then they can be someones girlfriend.

that is enough for today.

bob

I am feeling a bit cranky

It is not unusual for an Irish man to loose his temper. What bothers me is when if you loose your temper people get offended. That is so gay. Man up and take it. If I loose my temper and it was not at you whom I was angry with please don't make it you. I was really offended when you lost your temper. "Why, I was not even mad at you." It always is about me and so therefore I should understand how others have their self story in every event as well. Lets just say that the worlds sensitive people don't seem to show the tolerance they so need from others. You would think that they would have an idea about how to aid or assist someone who is having a bad day or two. But no, they are incapable. Way too much incapability roaming around me. The options for me are simple. Do I wall off my feelings even further due to the lack of others ability to handle them. Or just get more disciplined in my mind to have complete control of my actions and attitudes. I will most likely do both. Back up with the wall. And then people complain that they don't know me. Do you really want to know me?

Anyhow, on a lighter note. My wife has refused two pearl necklaces that I have tried to give her. Why does she do that? Could the ladies that visit my post inform me of her dislike for my generous gifts. Pearl necklaces are not easy to make, and these were nice big ones so I just don't get it. I try so hard to please her and give something that she can wear when she goes out but like everything else she finds fault in them. Oh well. But whenever I see a woman wearing pearls around her neck I know that she loves her man in a way that I envy.

On a similar subject. I get no respect at all. I went for a massage and the guy charge me extra for his happy ending.

Anyhow, tolerance and acceptance is a flawed strategy. Maybe I will join the masses and just not care. Probably not, that is not my nature. Being the fool for others is not my nature either so something is going to change. We shall see what it is.

BOB

Waiting and Wanting

I can tell you one thing waiting does suck. I am a very patient man but waiting can get pretty annoying. I am sure for those who know me that SURE BOB THAT'S IS WHAT WE HAVE BEEN SAYING ALL THIS TIME . OK to them you are right. Waiting sucks. But when the people you are waiting for suck that is even worse. At least when you wait for me when I get there I don't suck so that is at least better than what I have to deal with like the endless waiting for someone to show you the respect that I am deserved by not allowing this empty feeling of aloneness pursist until I start to worry maybe you jump out of a building and finished off what we wish you would have years ago. Maybe you are still self gratifying yourself with food or stuff that you have to do in the privacy of your bathroom. Maybe you got your hair too wet and needed to let it dry before you left the house. Maybe your dog would not crap on demand and you had to chase it to get it back in


OH lucky you they made it.


BOB

only 37 minutes late.

My wifes husband is an assolehi

Yes it is true. Everyone thinks so.

A couple of random thoughts. I hate it when people ask you if you have a cold. I generally always reply no I have tuberculosis. The despair comes from peoples fear of their own world and how you may contaminate them into getting sick. They don't care if you are sick or not feeling well but would you get me sick. It is a good thing that homosexuality is not contagious or stupidity and ignorance. If all the dumbs asses I run into were contagious I would be eating baby food only.

An interesting topic of positive reinforcement has come up in my life. I believe strongly in the power of positive reinforcement as a lever to move all people with. Negative reinforcement or just general critical tone forces people away. It is a universal law.. Funny thing is how few people seem to understand this fact. I would not be able to recognize positive reinforcement if it was delivered by UPS. People are inherently negative reinforcers and I just don't try to fit that style as I find it very ineffective way of motivating and influencing people. Peoples egos are generally way to fragile to handle any criticism even when it is positive. "Hey Paul those shorts really seem to show your genitals in a positive way." To his reply "Are you looking at my genitals?" Still even positive reinforcements and compliments are shunned as they may be negative.

I just think that people are way too sensitive. I tend to admire those whom are not.


BOB

Why arent funerals any fun?

The funeral went well today. As good as one can go. I did well.....I did not shit my pants or curse all day long. I am glad that I went. It does bring back allot of feelings that I have concerning the loss of my father 8 years ago. You know that you are a narcissist when even at a funeral it is all about me.

I would appreciate that at my funeral we get a stripper pole and do cocaine all night long. Now I am not into that stuff at all and in general find it offensive but who cares I wont know the difference. I must advise that on my death bed bring me a sandwich and plenty off them. I believe that a good sandwich can cure someone. I think it makes more sense than most of the drugs they give you anyway. I also want the priest or who ever is talking about God to be interrupted several times while he is speaking because they always interrupted me during my life to talk their God talk when I want to talk cars and guitars.

I also want some food 6000 grand I want sushi for Christ sake. That is more money than I would pay for a kidney if I needed one. (I am cheap)

Now other thoughts that I had today. If you had to go down on a Senior citizen, for any reason, could you tell her p*&sy from her ass. (funny thing is how can &*%#@! take the vulgarity out of that) And is it reasonable, if you are that hard up to pick up chicks at a mental hospital or halfway house type of setting. I hear those chicks are horny.

Now it is obvious that I have some deep resentment somewhere along the line, and at this rate it wont likely get much better. I do believe that humor is everywhere if you look for it.

Also, and no disrespect intended for those who have tried suicide and failed but wtf. I get it that you are depressed but you must also be stupid because if you can tie your shoes you should be able to jump off a bridge or pull a trigger. Just another random thought of the day.

The thoughts are of the sad variety but I did have bit of a sad day.....(again ALL ABOUT ME)

BOB



PS best wishes to the mother of smatigattzz

Sad day for a dear friend

A tribute to Rocco's Mom who passed away today. Not an easy time. Not an easy way to console. I don't think that you can console such things just be there as a friend. He help me through my loss so I will help him the best I can.



On a lighter note, I am not gay. I made a decision. Can someone decide to be gay like the conservative right believe you can. I personally don't think you can. I also wonder why I have not given myself herpes yet. I never wash my hands before....you know.

I was startled at work today and almost I stress almost responded to outside stimulus. The phone was ringing and after three rings I almost moved to get it. It was then that I noticed that I have cat like reflexes. (albeit a very slow lethargic cat)


That is all for today

bob

Is winter over yet?

Winter just wont quite. That is fine I guess not much that I can do about it. Hanging out at home here with the misses.... No offence but she is easily entertianed by the hallmark channel. I think it sucks but what do I know. She likes it and that is good enough for me. She wont let me watch porno this early in the afternoon. Work is slower than I like but so what it seems that whole nation is in a slow down at least that is what I heard on tv. Lets see my hermano has got it groove back into his life. I wish that I could be that self destructive but somehow my sensabilty just wont let me screw up that bad. It is like a bad dream that keeps on repeating. groundhog day meets corky. Oh well, he has more fun than I do. Now that would be true of alot of people. The guitar lessons are comming along well enough getting some motivation to study again. It goes in cyles, it is rather difficult stuff but being blessed with god given rock and roll talent I would hate to see it go to waste.

that is all for today.


bob

To all those who saw my sack we salute you

I jumped in the pool with a full frontal weggie after about 8 or so beers. Thank you for the oportunity to share my dream. I feel that showmanship is everything. Is he going in the pool in his underwear....oh my god wait theres more..... did he really do that.

I can tell you without hesitation that computers can suck my ass. they brake down and screw up all the time. my work computer crashed yesterday and I almost killed four people........

These damn computers are way to important. even more important than deep human emotions and feelings if you asked me yesterday any questions about anything I would have told you to go f yourself if you asked me twice I would have shown you how. It puts me in an awful way. technology sucks for the most part.......My technology requirements are probalbly much less than yours.


anyhow I am having a sleep over at roccos tonight i hope this is not the night that he and his lovely wife want to have some wierd kinky sex or something I just dont feel the love tonight.


bob

People have bigger problems than me

I guess that my life ain't so bad. It is a tad bland and boring with too many hours of work dealing with peoples problems that they created for themselves but without people screwing up I would not have any work. So peoples stupidity and stubbornness is recession proof I hope.

Not to give too much info away a little moment of silence for my hermano.



Okay that's enough silence. My father would say he would f up a wet dream. Oh wait he said that to me.

Hey I almost bought a new car. You know How much I love cars. Not finalized yet but a 2003 Buick century with 23K on it. It comes with its own diaper. It was cheap and actually should be a real nice car to drive my fat ass in. I should by a Benz but I am one cheap as guy. Anyhow, my guitar lessons are doing okay. I need to practice more. the one good thing is that I recognise that practice and playing is more important than the amp and gear. But having the right stuff does help.

All I can say is does it hurt when the penis hits the fan blade and wouldn't you know how it feels after the first time doing it. Would you close the door on your balls more than once?


had my cholesterol checked and I am good to go. Bring back the bacon.

I had I nice visit to Florida to see my mom and relatives. Spent some time in a nursing home, that place is not so fun. It was nice to visit but can I say get me the f out here. leaving there you wonder if you did enough in your life or enjoy things enough. I will never question about how much I self gratified myself, I did enough. I guess that I did not learn my lesson I bought a Buick. (it is a nice car though)

that is all for today.


bob

Happy Valentine's Day.......?

First things first, If you need to be reminded to sexually pursue someone you are not doing well.... I do not have to make a big fuss or appointment to eat or crap.....Sex is not that much different....Should I send my love to all that I care for? Send them a Valentine's gift of some sort. That would be a fairly large list......And I would expect some sexual gratification out of.....Think of it as my personal stimulus package....That is the only stimulus package I support. It must end in Sex.......

So I will take my wife out for Valentine's day to here favorite restaurant and maybe I will be even extra nice to her But I am not putting out if she does not get me anything, she takes me for granted... Actually we are getting along fairly well. The sad thing about valentines day is for the people who are not feeling the love. That's got to be worse. I have been there too.

Oh well what do I get my right hand for valentines day........She never fails me.

If you are reading this blog you are probably on the list of people whom I would send a valentine to so now you owe me sex.

OK TIM

What you did was wrong...The car before the horse or should I say whorse

I wonder what her big complaint was....Did you show her your new trick?


Anyhow I got to go and be nice to the little woman........Then maybe she will give the alone time that I need to finish of valentine's day right.

bob

Timmy Dreams Big

I am not hungover. I guess that I made the right choice because hangovers suck for me. They can last for days.

Okay some new thoughts that I have had.

Okay My brother Tim has made it back to the blog and unfortunately it is not a great report.
Now we all have dreams. Some dreams have deep internal meanings that reveal their deep inner self. He keeps having a reoccurring dream of giving himself oral sex. Now I am a person who generally thinks that a persons dreams should be pursued and hopefully accomplished. I just don't think that he should pursue this one. He asks "Do you ever have dreams like that?" Where upon my drab response is "NO" Tim's response to my lack of understanding was "It not like I go to town on it" I now will know what JACKPOT means in his diary if he had one.
(only kidding Timmy, I just think what Brett said was funny enough to share)

Okay other tasteless thoughts.

Do you believe in UFOs. I do.... I have been know to have created some myself. Unidentified Fecal Objects.

Quotes from the past few days

Anyhow, I had a real bad day yesterday. "I was really mad at myself today. But its okay. The makeup sex is great."

Okay, a little tribute to my wife when asked how is she. "She is great. She does not take up allot of space and does allot of work."


Also I am not fixing things, or braking them further, things that I broken already. So I am leaving them for Rocco. If I break it he will have to fix it. He is responsible to carry the my burden for destruction. I am doing him this favor because he is my friend. I usually brake things to the point that Nostradamus couldn't figure out what has happened. So the first signs of fire or sparks I put my hands in my pockets. THANKS ROCCO

That is all for today.

bob


PS

Tim does deserve co credit for the writing of his "BIG DREAM" Your a funny guy

I guess that I never really left

Some interesting re connections over the past few weeks via the wonders of facebook. It has been great to reconnect with people that you loved from the past. Funny thing is we tend to forget how much we really loved them, and how important we are to so many people. It brings pride to me to still after twenty plus years still to be known and how much it can effect you to be a building block in others lives. I hope that I was as good to them as I could be and knowing myself I was. But knowing me I wish that I could have done more for them. When I was younger I was a shy guy. What happened to that guy? Truth be told I am still shy and withholding. It just wont stop me anymore.

It does bring to my conscious just how important we are to so many people. I have been blessed in a sense of having a life where that burden has been met with joy and I hope friendship for others. I tend to tolerate almost anything someone could throw at me but I now realize where that came from. It is from my crazy family. They have trained me to drink my own piss if I had to . No torment was off the charts. No subtle of decorum in our gatherings. But it was never boring and I must give thanks and praise to what it is to be Irish, guilt ridden and ready to defend our wrong actions with fervor.

We were truly a force of nature. It feels good to be battle tested years before the battle.

It has its drawbacks to an extent. The most people that I run into could not survive in my family. We would consume your life. There was no individual rights in our house. What was yours is mine because that is the way it is. I still cannot buy a shirt that looks good in fear someone else might like it an wear it first.

I do sometimes run people over with my overpowering personality but in my family growing things over time and consideration just did not make sense to us. It was what it is. Like it or not. We don't mince words or lead people on. We are as we appear. CRAZY

I think that I will work a little harder at being a better friend to those who accept my infectious disease. Knowing me or my brothers is lifelong illness. Like herpes or hepatitis

Moreover a sincere thanks to those in my past who saw things in me to keep in their hearts.



PS

I did quite coffee and most forms of caffiene 2.5 weeks ago. Now I am sniffing paint thinner.
Caffiene is a pretty strong addiction if you drink as much coffee as I did. I dont feel any better for it and am wondering why the hell I gave it up.... I thought that it may make me a healthier person but I am not convienced. Exercise and a good balance diet theory just wont happen. Oh well, I am not going back to it as I dont like climing mountains twice.


bob


PSS

this will be the last gay bob blog of 2009.

Hey can I borrow your chapstick

Lately I have been a boring guy. I have been trying to think about other peoples needs first. Let me say one thing... Its not me... I am going to go back to my auto pilot type of thinking...other people suck anyway....all they want to do is talk about themselves...and they are boring.....I may be allot of things but I am not boring....even when I am sleeping.... Okay during sex I have been know to uh never mind...OK I am boring....So don't talk to me

Okay, a few passing thoughts that I had today....What skills do you have to avoid being man handled if you were in prison.... Now what I am saying is what could you do to bribe bubba from taking away your man flower......Just a thought to reflect upon but it brings up a valuable point

DO YOU HAVE SKILLS?

I could fix his knee if it hurt....Maybe talk about his feelings of anger at his parents.

Any how

like I said I am getting to be a boring guy without to much to say....I will go home an watch CNN that should piss me off enough.....

bob

Is this the end

Sad to say but is this the end of capitalism in america. Seems to be that we are not too comfortable with market self correction. Now I am not attempting to offer any solutions but I would think that the powers that supervised communist countries could not forsee an end to their way of life and commerce.

Now I do not have alot of time at the moment to expound on my recent thoughts but lets just say that the way we were may be forever lost. Are we in terminal trouble as whole as much as we are in the parts. How many foreclosures will be saved with any bailout. How many layoffs will be prevented. I think that we are in for a long slow period and if we really screw with the model of commerce change the free market that we so strongly believe in. I dont think that people in general see the change.

To discuss more later

bob